Monday, March 29, 2010

Thank Heavens I Got Taken Off The 10 Most Wanted List Last Year

Insomnia paid me a visit last night. I think she came over because someone stole an hour from us on Sunday and she was pissed and wanted the hour back. Frankly, so did I. I tossed and turned from midnight to 4 am, when I finally gave up. I got up, had a little water, and went back to bed to wait for the alarm clock to ring. And promptly fell asleep. Weird how that works.

After having slept so well last night, I made M a three course meal for dinner took M to Subway for dinner. It was close to closing time and M and I were pretty much alone. While I was munching on my chicken teriyaki sub, a man came in. He was looking a little frazzled, and locked himself into the men’s restroom.I figured he just really had to go.

Next, a security guard came in and took a look around, spotting the locked door. He ran out again and came back 30 seconds later with two police officers. The cops went to the men’s room and pulled out the screaming and cursing man, cuffed him and took him away. He had a bunch of pills and a syringe. I guess he robbed the big hospital next door and apparently the old lady who needed those pills wasn’t too happy. Poor lady.

Anyway, things like this doesn’t happen over here. Ever. A druggie getting arrested in Subway is the equivalent of a bank robbery turned hostage situation turned kidnapping drama. When M and I came home we had to make sure the grass was okay. In situations like these you realize that your spawn is the most important thing in you life.

Oh yeah… The grass.

I feel sort of bad. I abandoned my poor, helpless grass because I was having a hard time dealing with the responsibilities of being a parent. I will never do it again, I swear. To make it up to the grass, I have now watered it, fed it little plastic toys, read to it and even trimmed it and given it a nice new haircut. And I let my Easter chick sit in the grass to keep it company.

Watch That Grass Grow!



  1. That is just too cute!

    Yeah, Chicken Pot Pie with sprouts. Yum!

    OK. I'm reaching. ;-)

    Stay away from druggies.

  2. You have subways over there? Really? God, that's just sad. Jimmy John's is much better. Do they have those? If not, I'll have to send you one. Or a picture of one. And I've never had anything go down (that's cop talk) in a Jimmy John's. Your kids, I mean grass, would be safe with JJ's.

  3. Not trying to scare you or anything, but that was actually an inmate on the run. (Finnish only, sorry)
    Make sure you have something to do next night too....

  4. ReformingGeek - Perhaps a tender chicken breast on a bed of steamed grass? That sounds like something Jamie Oliver would make. I could be like Jamie Oliver. I'm not cooking naked, though.

    Mike - We have Subways everywhere. No Jimmy John's, though, but Jimmy John's has a nice ring to it. And they're obviously safer than Subway. And it was recently brought to my attention that we don't have Reese's Eggs either. You'd think a country that imports pretty much everything from USA would understand to import Reese's Eggs and the best sandwiches.

    Jonas - Holy crap. Not trying to scare me, huh? And he saw my face! I'm going to have to go into a witness protection program. I'm never eating out again. ...unless M is paying.

  5. I can safely say that I've never had action like that in a Subway ever.

    Love the grass your growing!

  6. That's some high energy action there and that chick is so cute. Sorry, but it is.

  7. Candice - Yeah, it's very exciting to be me, things like this happen ALL the time. Ahem...

    Mrsblogalot - I know, right? The chick is great. And to think it was thisclose to ending up as food.



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