Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Meanwhile, In Finland

…it’s still snowing. Yesterday the snow came down as big heavy snowflakes that made me and Zelma realize that the ice age is making a much awaited comeback. In order to prepare of the ice age, we did what any sensible mammal would do. We prepared for hibernation. We went out for pizza to make sure we have the body fat needed to survive 10.000 years in a cave. We felt really good about it too. Today, however, we’re not feeling as good about it, because the big heavy snowflakes of last night first turned into rain, and now this morning they turned into itty bitty fluffy snowflakes that definitely couldn’t cause another ice age anytime soon. So, as any sensible mammal, we decided we need to get rid of all that excess body fat and prepare for summer, in case it arrives. We’re going to the gym later tonight. Maybe. We’re definitely maybe going to the gym later tonight.

But that’s not what I was going to tell you about today. See, last night, after the pizza, Zelma and I went to Dani’s place for a party. And this wasn’t just any party. Dani was the benevolent hostess of a Me&I party. It’s like a Tupperware party, except instead of a saleswoman trying to sell a bunch of highly useful, practical and air tight containers, there’s a saleswoman trying to sell a bunch of very colorful, high quality and highly expensive clothes. Mostly baby clothes, in fact. As I’m actually neither pregnant, nor a mommy, I was mostly there as moral support. And Dani would get a free gift if enough people showed up.

There were actually some pretty nice clothes there. If I had a little baby boy I would definitely consider emptying my bank account for a shirt buying one of the many pieces that were on display. The saleswoman had some women’s clothes too, that she was very eager to sell. Dani bought a wonderful pink dress that looked awesome on her, but would have made me look like a sausage. How Dani can have given birth to an actual human being and still look awesome, while I look 10 months pregnant, I have no idea. I’m definitely going to the gym tonight. At least if it stops snowing.

But I didn’t just sit on my ass all night and look at clothes, this tower that I made in Adam’s room is actually the most constructive thing I’ve done all week.

Then Zelma destroyed it with the evil hedgehog. Zelma is good like that. I think she was bored since she doesn’t have any kids either and her bank account isn’t much better off than mine is. But we did see a nice pair of pants that we both wanted. I think it was because they had a nice wide strip of fabric over the tummy so you could have some pizza and still wouldn’t have to worry about looking pregnant. Come to think of it, maybe the pants were aimed at people who actually are pregnant… Huh.

Anyway, I had a great time and the night ended on a good note when Zelma almost ran over a kid on a bike while giving me a ride home. *


  1. Those fat pants sound handy. Did they anything like that for men? Because I also love pizza, and I'm definitely, sort of, probably, maybe, unless somebody invites me out for pizza going to the gym this week.

  2. Mike - I don't think they had anything at all for men. But try one of those belts weightlifters use. That would probably support your pizza stomach nicely, as well as give you that lovely hourglass figure you always wanted.



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