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Today's photo might take a little explaining. See, this is Zelma. Zelma and I are sharks. Sharks live in the water.
Well, that was simple. Didn't take nearly as much explaining as I thought it would.
Zelma and I became sharks a long time ago, by black magic or a roll of the dice or a silly quiz online. No one knows anymore. It's not important. What is important is that Zelma and I are magnets for disaster. Also, for men. But most of all, for disastrous men.
Let's see, there was the old man who hid from his mother.
There was the guy in the reindeer sweater who wasn't entirely sure where he lived.
There was the freak who followed Zelma everywhere she went.
There was the eccentric Croatian troubadour with a taste for rabbit burgers.
There was the guy who met us, left us, came back a few hours later to ask if there was any way, any way at all, that he could possibly see us again? Please?
There was the corpse.
There was the captain who wouldn't take no for an answer, threatened to hunt us down and go crazy on us. Because he had connections.
There was the young military boy with the puppy dog eyes and his tail between his legs when we dismissed him.
There was the guy who started to stalk me after ten years of silence.
I could go on, but I’m already at 250 words, and I wouldn’t want to anger the powers that be. Suffice it to say that Zelma and I've caught some pretty weird fish in our time.
I own a reindeer sweater, and I'm not sure where I live. Or where I should live, at least. It seems you may know me, and yet I don't recall meeting either of you in person. And I think I would, too, because it's not every day one meets a woman-shark, let alone two of them.ReplyDelete
That's what I find so disturbing about this innocent-looking portrait of a woman-shark. There seems to be some bizarre connection between us, however tenuous, and yet I can't remember. I have my reindeer sweater, I'm not sure where I live, or should. You apparently had an encounter with me.
Was our meeting so traumatic that I forgot it, I wonder? Or did we meet at all? Is this mere coincidence, a random assemblage of inter-related international facts that, in fact, aren't related at all except by a few common words in a common language, or the identical elements of two unrelated stories?
I am, and fear I shall forever remain, deeply puzzled.
And I am afraid. Very, very afraid.
I think I dated one of those guys too...ReplyDelete
If anyone's got any ideas for Kafkaesque, I am now paying for them with prime Finnish money.ReplyDelete
i have two ideas, show me the money!
Good grief, this is terrifying. Not quite as terrifying as @mikewjattoomanymornings:disqus' comment, but terrifying nonetheless.ReplyDelete
All of those sound like blog posts to tell :)ReplyDelete
Terrifying but oh rings so true....I think each and everyone moved to the states and began a dedicated search to find me.ReplyDelete
The rest of us are deeply puzzled and very afraid...ReplyDelete
Oh, this reminded me of my good friend back in our dating days. Our expression was that we didn't have many "dates" but we sure met a lot of "raisins!"ReplyDelete
I'm going to pull my reindeer sweater over my head and hide.ReplyDelete
Remind me not to let you and Zelma be my wing women.ReplyDelete
Are you saying you eat men? Didn't the sweater get caught in your teeth like that annoying popcorn kernel?ReplyDelete
For a second, it actually sounded like you guys might be fun to hang around with until I read "There was the corpse"ReplyDelete
Whether she's a shark or a magnet for dangerous men, Zelma is absolutely beautiful.ReplyDelete
I'm with boom boom - remind me not to have the two of you as "wing women." Anyhoo, I think I would stalk the both of you too .... I have an ugly Christmas sweater.ReplyDelete
A corpse. Well, that'd be dead in the water...and would nicely fit today's theme. At least the guy didn't talk back. It was a guy, right?ReplyDelete
I love your stories about you and Zelma and the crazy ass men you attract. We need to all get together and talk. I have attracted some crazies too. At least you have a beautiful friend to share the laughs with. That is such a gift. I love the expression you captured on Zelma's face. She appears to be telling one of her stories!ReplyDelete
Oh yes, it was a guy. I think.ReplyDelete
Stalk away, Tami, we can take it! ;)ReplyDelete
Zelma is going to love you for saying that. :DReplyDelete
If people just remembered their safe words these things wouldn't happen.ReplyDelete
It did. Terribly annoying. Never eating another sweater again.ReplyDelete
Are you kidding?? You'd love having us as your wing women!ReplyDelete
Hah, that's priceless!ReplyDelete
Wow, you met an eccentric Croatian troubadour and a guy with a reindeer sweater, too?? That's amazing.ReplyDelete
Hah, I don't see how I could possibly tell these tales without people locking me up and throwing away the key.ReplyDelete
NOTHING is as terrifying as MikeWJ's comments.ReplyDelete
You can see the money in my Coins photo. ;)ReplyDelete
God, I hope it wasn't the corpse.ReplyDelete
This sounds a little like a movie script... A horror movie.ReplyDelete
Hey Ziva! What a lovely picture of your fellow shark. I hope I'll get to meet her the next time I drop by? Max says he needs to come and inspect Helsinki's Suomenlinna Bridge for Dry Rot. I know, a stone bridge; hardcore fungus. He's been experimenting again. Roth xReplyDelete
Zelma's always telling one of her stories. ;) You really should come out with us sometime, I think we'd attract even crazier crazies than usual!ReplyDelete
Sad but true.ReplyDelete
I'm a little worried about letting Max loose on Helsinki, to be completely honest. But I'm sure if you know how to handle him, right? Just let me know before you arrive so I can prepare. Maybe hide some of the more valuable items on display in Helsinki...ReplyDelete
Hey Baby, I've got a chocolate bar and a coupon for free shoes over here. (wink, wink)ReplyDelete
Oooh, SCAVENGER HUNT! *checks list* #23, "Temppeliaukion Kirkko". Hmmm. We're going to need a bigger boat. Indigo xReplyDelete
You're on... rendezvous next summer! I have to celebrate my 60th birthday in style!ReplyDelete
I just speak the truth!ReplyDelete
I saw two beautiful sharks underwater on Ziva's place today!ReplyDelete
I'm intrigued by the eccentric Croatian troubadour with a taste for rabbit burgers and the corpse. Sorry I've been MIA. Needed a break. You and Zelma are quite a duo. Was Zelma looking for the old man when you took the shot?ReplyDelete
This is your most enticing and mysterious post YET. You MUST explain after this photo challenge, each and every one of those moments!ReplyDelete
Haha, I might pick a few and write about them, but most of these are really beyond explanation. ;)ReplyDelete
I'm never quite sure what Zelma is doing.. I think she's working on her strategy for world domination in this photo.ReplyDelete
What a lovely thing to say, Coco! :)ReplyDelete
So.. Are you talking to me or Zelma now? Think very carefully before you answer, cause women are very serious about free shoes..ReplyDelete
Ohh, let's do it in Paris!ReplyDelete