Why?
Why?!
Because Finland won the Ice Hockey World Championships in an epic game against our arch nemesis, Sweden. And we didn’t just win, oh no. We crushed them. Killed them. Sucked every last ounce of life out of those sad little boys playing with their sticks and their pucks. We slaughtered them with all the subtlety of a train wreck. When we were done with Sweden, they were lying on the ice, sucking their thumbs and crying for their mama.
I realize of course that most of my readers here don’t even know that the Ice Hockey World Championships were being held, much less that they were being held in Slovakia. In fact, I’m sure many of you don’t even know, or care, where Slovakia is. And if it weren’t for the fact that Finland just delivered a Chuck Norris-like roundhouse kick to Sweden’s over-sized head in Bratislava, I wouldn’t care about Slovakia either. But because Finland burned Sweden to the ground, collected the ashes and burned them again, I have developed a new-found fondness for Bratislava, this most beautiful of all European cities.
Aaaaand, that’s really all I have to say today. I love Finland. I love Slovakia. And in case you forgot already, Sweden sucks monster moose cocks. Don’t ever forget it. *
Oi maamme, Suomi, synnyinmaa,soi, sana kultainen!Ei laaksoa, ei kukkulaa,ei vettä, rantaa rakkaampaakuin kotimaa tää pohjoinen,maa kallis isien.
ReplyDeleteSun kukoistukses kuorestaankerrankin puhkeaa;viel' lempemme saa nousemaansun toivos, riemus loistossaan,ja kerran laulus, synnyinmaakorkeemman kaiun saa.
I officially declare today St. Urho day, because I am sure he had a hand in banishing those Swedes the same way he banished those frogs. Originally, St. Urho day was in May, so I'm taking it as a sign that he wants it back in May when it is only slightly winter in Finland instead of in March, when it is full-blown winter. To celebrate this momentous occasion, I'm eating fish soup and drinking sour milk.
And I love that you said the Swedes suck monster moose cock. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you talk Canadian. :-)
This is how much the US cares about the IIHF world championships: I can't even watch the gold medal game until TOMORROW night! I thought the game wasn't even PLAYED until tomorrow. I was so excited to hear the final score--at least one team I wanted to win big, did. (The Wings lost, Finland has now won, hockey is done for me until October.) Congrats Team Finland! ( I did get to watch the win against Russia as it was being played--great game, what a goal by Granlund.)
ReplyDeleteSo, um, you guys don't like Sweden?
ReplyDelete:)
I was telling my husband something and I said Finland and he said he thought what I was describing was in Sweden but that they are all the same anyway.
Hee Hee.
No?
I know where Slovakia is.
Near Australia, right?
Ugh.
Man, since Montreal was eliminated from the playoffs, I stopped paying attention to hockey. Now I wish I hadn't because I then I could've gone all "fake rivalry" on you. Me rooting for the Swedes and you the Fins. It would've been epic.
ReplyDeleteOh well. Go Finland!!ExclamationExclamaion!1oneDollarsign
I'm sad that the Canadians didn't fair better this year, but I'm glad that, regardless of what Don Cherry says about them (or all European players for that matter), the Finns beat down those Swedes! They needed a good ass-whoopin'. Congrats Finland!!
ReplyDeleteI love you, my crazy Canadian. You make me think of monster moose cocks, and very few people do that. I'll have some fish soup and sour milk and celebrate with you. That's a very strange way of celebrating, by the way, but whatever makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! America is crazy, not airing the games live. Then again, the NHL games aren't aired live here either, which sucks almost as much.
ReplyDeleteGranlund's goal, oh my god, it was insane. I can't believe he actually did that in a semi final game against Russia. Amazing, absolutely amazing. Minnesota has their hands on him, and I'm guessing they're going to want him there sooner rather than later.
Sweden, yuck. Definitely NOT the same as Finland. I might have to knee your husband. Don't worry, I'll be gentle.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right, Slovakia is right on the border between Australia and Nicaragua.
I'm sorry about Montreal, but if you start rooting for Sweden I'm going to have to come to Canada to kick your ass in person. Better add some more exclamation marks to your Finland chants. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Double-O! I really thought Canada would send Russia packing. Not that I'm complaining, because playing against Russia gave Granlund a chance to shine. And I agree, Sweden so needed a good ass-kicking!
ReplyDeletenext year the World Championship will be held in Finland...omfg....
ReplyDeleteYeah, Minnesota has Granlund and the Wings will be playing against them too much. Oh, yay. I guess Detroit's 'D' will have their hands full with this player. It will be fun to watch him, though. :) I do think he has balls of steel to do that move in as important of a game like that. I can't wait to see Pavel Datsyuk try this--he does everything else, so why not? ;)
ReplyDeleteI know! I told M we have to go see a game or two, or three. Can we stay with you?
ReplyDeleteFinland Rules! Hooray for Finland! I love Finland too. And I think Sweden is for pussies and not the good kind.
ReplyDeletejeba! ja tror ja skippar med dessa priser! om jag int då råkar va rik o det sku råka finnas biljettpaket kvar! http://www.lippu.fi/tickets.html?affiliate=ADV&doc=campaign&campaign=mm-2012
ReplyDeleteYou're my kind of woman, Linda!
ReplyDeleteJag vet, jag har sett på dom.. Helt sjukt. Men man MÅSTE ju fara... Eller?
ReplyDeleteYou are now, always have been, and always will be my kind of woman, Ziva!
ReplyDeleteYou're talking about me, aren't you?
ReplyDeleteNope, no way. Never.
ReplyDeleteFort, Muschu, radera alla kommentarer om Mike!!
Check! Raderat!
ReplyDeleteMen jo nog sku de ju va nice men de sku va mer kul om man visste när finland spelar osv o om dom kommer ti final osvmikeosv... men ja tror ja skippar de där just nu o fokuserar på andra utgifter ett tag!
Kanske du borde mike önska en biljett eller två till din födelsedag? Dom där alkusarjan mike paketen är ju typ mike fyra biljetter varav minst en är ett Finland-spel. Mike.
ReplyDelete