Monday, May 17, 2010

So Much Bling It's Hurting My Eyes

Today is a wonderful day. I don’t often say this, because I’m a bit of a dark person so if it is a great day, I usually try to ignore it, but today really is an amazing day. There are just so many things to celebrate that I feel compelled to number them in a geeky, yet efficient, way:

1. The weather is amazing and has been that way all weekend. It hasn’t been this warm since August last year and if this keeps up, I’ll soon have to stop being such a dark person.
2. I passed my exam!
3. After having spent the past week in isolation, working on my essay 24/7, I have finally turned it in to my professor. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel like laughing evilly every time I think of the poor professor who now has to read all that crap.
4. We bought a new TV! I can see the puck when Finland loses against Denmark in hockey!
5. Awards!
6. Threesomes!

Not one, not two, but three people have given me this wonderful Sunshine Award. The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspires others in the blog world. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like one of those moldy bananas I lied to M about throwing out and hid under the paper so I wouldn’t have to touch them.

The beautiful, talented and certifiably cheesy Nicky from We Work For Cheese gave me the award in a grand gesture of Canadian goodness. Her reason? "Ziva, my love, because she wants to change the world one time zone at a time." I actually cried a little, it was so beautiful. Nicky conveniently left out the part where I want to change the world to suit my own blogging better. Thanks Nicky!

The intelligent, grumpy and very talented Frank, who doesn’t give a damn, crawled out of his cave and gave a damn long enough to give me this award, saying "because Ziva inspires me to imagine a beautiful Mossad agent with great hair getting the hots for another woman." I feel so proud. You’re the best, Frank.

Lastly, I received this glorious award from the equally glorious, funny, kind and beautiful Linda of The Good, The Bad, The Worse. Linda gave the award to me, "who I would give a butt transplant to, if she needed one! (But we all know that gorgeous green Fin has a perfect ass already.)" I think I’m all set with the ass thing, but I wouldn’t mind some new boobs... Books! I meant new books!

Oddly enough, the Sunshine Award doesn’t come with only sunshine. It also comes with three kids, a goldfish and a ton of responsibility. When you’ve received this award, you’re suddenly obligated to:

1. Post the award on your blog. I can do this. As long as I don’t have to change anyone’s diaper or remember to feed the fish.
2. Pass the award on to twelve bloggers. Twelve?? I can’t even count that far.
3. Link to the nominees in your post. Well, that I can do. As long as M does it for me.
4. Let the other bloggers know they’ve received this award, along with the three kids and dirty diapers, by commenting on their blogs. I might be able to do this, as long as the fish doesn’t need flushing while I’m at it, in which case I will probably forget about the commenting.
5. Link to the person you received this award from. Check, check, check.

Now comes the task of passing this award on to other bloggers who are award-worthy. Firstly, I’d like to give the Sunshine Award back to the three lovely people who gave it to me, Nicky, Linda and Frank, because these people truly inspire me. And I’m pretty sure they don’t actually have to do it all over again just because they get the award a second time, so don’t worry, guys. But if someone finds the manual and it says that you do actually have to do it all over again, please don’t give it back to me. Here’s my list:

1. Nicky, because I have a crush on her, and she has an amazing son and fabulous shoes. But she’s going to have to share the award with Mike and Jepeto, her very funny co-bloggers who definitely deserve awards as well. On second thought, I’m just going to send three awards your way, so you each can have one and won’t have to battle it out over the sunshine.
2. Frank, because he’s frank. (I crack myself up.)
3. Linda, because her pets are adorable and so is she.
4. MikeWJ of Too Many Mornings, because he truly inspires me. Also, his comments are often the single reason people read this blog. He's swamped with school work and work work right now, so he could really use some sunshine.
5. ReformingGeek of Confession of a Reforming Geek, because Evil Twin is hilarious and Cat has the eyes of Satan. What’s not to love?
6. Mrs. Blogalot, because she is thoughtful, interesting, and very funny.
7. Lauren of Think Spin, because we are all mutts, and as far as mutts go, she is fantastic.
8. 00dozo of When I Reach, who I haven’t been reading very long at all, but who actually believes me when I say evil penguins could eat her pavement.
9. Candice of Life According to Candice, because she cracks me up.
10. Jen of Redhead Ranting, because she has amazing hair, just like me, and she is a very funny and an incredibly talented woman.

Now, Linda took the award thing a bit further, and not only gave me the wonderful Sunshine Award, she gave me an entire threesome! I haven’t had one of those since college!

The Honest Scrap Award was the second award in the threesome and didn’t come with any other directions than to post 10 honest things about myself that no one knew about me.

1. I’m pregnant.
2. I’m kidding! I’m not pregnant. I just wanted to start out with a bang. But I could be. Now you’ll never know. Unless I pop out a mini-Ziva or mini-M in a few months, I guess. Then you’ll know. Or not.
3. I’m allergic to chocolate, but eat it all the time. I’m brave like that.
4. As a kid I jumped down on a wooden board, and conveniently forgot to check for rusty nails sticking up, effectively nailing my foot onto the board.
5. Thanks to my years flipping burgers at Hesburger, my fingers are blackened pieces of charcoal not very sensitive to heat. M is always telling me to stop it when I use my fingers to flip things over in the pan.
6. Thanks to my years flipping burgers at Hesburger, I’m also very nit-picky about cleanliness in the kitchen, and would never use my bare hands to touch stuff in the pan.
7. I have a picture of a naked woman on the wall above my bed.
8. I named my car Steve, my external hard drive Steve, my next external hard drive Steve II and my big stuffed white tiger Tiger. I have a great imagination.
9. Ziva is not my real name. *cue the X-files theme song*
10. I’ve never done drugs. Which is really good, because it might mess with my drinking habit.

The last award Linda gave me was the Versatile Blogger Award.

The award says ‘poems’, ‘stories’, ‘essays’ and ‘messages’. I’ve never posted a poem on this blog, and I doubt if I ever will. I might have posted a message to someone, though. I can’t remember, did I ask M to buy some milk that one time? Also, I might have posted a story if the tale about my pink bike counts. I guess I could post one of my essays I’ve written for school… Which one would you like to read, “Challenges to the Right to a Fair Trial in the Fight Against Terrorism” or “Unaccompanied Refugee Minors’ Right to Family Reunification According to the Principle about the Best Interest of the Child”? (That last one was written in Swedish, but I would totally translate all 26 pages of it for you. Well, not me, but Google Translate.) Anyway, it is a lovely award, and I am truly honored that Linda would think of me.

And to celebrate all these awards, I did what Nicky would have done. I made cheesecake. With a mudcake base. Then I did what her co-blogger Mike would have done. I ate it. A piece if heaven, it was.



  1. what we have in common:

    -we've won the same 3 awards.

    - adoration for miss linda

    - being smarter than george bush

    well i guess there could be more but these are what i know as of now. congrats on your awards i can already tell you are very deserving.

  2. Ziva, I am so glad to see you and Sammy keeping company! I think I can safely say we are all smarter than W! Thank you for passing the Sunshine back to me as I really just never get enough, kind of like with cookies and whipped cream.

  3. Holy mother of all time zones Ziva, that was an awesome award post girl!

    And I am so honored to be included!! Truly. You have no idea how touched I am by it.

    Thank you!!!!!!!


  4. Hi. Thank you so much. I am honored to be honored among such a great group of bloggers or imaginary friends as some like to say. Congrats on your beautiful bloggy day and all the awards that have been bestowed upon you. You're such a wonderful writer and are so deserving of the awards.

  5. Thank you so much for the award, and thank you even more for making me drool over your cheesecake!!!!!

    Oh, and congrats on passing your exam :)

  6. Thanks for thinking of me! And congrats on your exam and essay. I don't miss school at all. This post cracked me up, especially the drugs and drinking thing, that and the whole pregnancy fake out. You made this seem like fun, I might even have to do it now because you had such a good time with it. Of course I will totally steal this stuff if I do.

  7. Congratulations on the awards, on your exam, your essay and your cheesecake!

    Now, can I just say that your little "joke" about pregnancy really freaked me out!? I mean, you know, that time you hugged me until my condom dress broke? I thought we would still be okay 'cause it's virtual and all, and then you made that announcement and I thought, OMG, what if I'm the...father? Mother? Other?! OMG, I'm going to have to learn to say more than "Lemmikki" in Finnish. And then the poor thing will speak Finnish with a Swedish/Canadian accent, eh! Whew! Thank goodness you were only joking!

  8. Forget the awards. Give me that cheesecake!

    Kidding. Kidding. Thank you so much for some sunshine and congrats to you for these additions to your award shelf!

    Congrats on your exam and being or not being pregnant, non-Ziva!

    I love the name Ziva, though.

  9. Thanks "Ziva", and damn straight Nicky's going to have to share with me. Just like she shared the cheesecake, although I think I ate most of it in the end.

    Funny, as a kid traipsing through the woods. I stepped on a wooden slat with a nail in it. As first I thought it was cool cause it was like my first ski. It was less fun to pull it out and get a tetanus shot.

  10. Congratulations on the awards, and for possibly not having a baby. Unless I don't really mean that. Or maybe I do.

  11. Oh Ziva, Ziva, Ziva. Congrats on the awards, passing your exam and not being preggers. But if you are pregnant, congrats at that too (I think?). Oh, and on the cheesecake, of course.

    And I humbly thank you and accept the award (*bows in reverence to the Great Ziva*), but for the evil penguins? I'm so confused. I'm easily confused.

    Great post too!

  12. I am so glad that when you said you made cheesecake it was not that ostkaka stuff Matt's family is always talking about and made what looks like a cheesecake I would eat (even with a chocolate crust). Ostkaka may be Swedish (and I know you are from the land of Santa; therefore, not Swedish) but I worry about what food like that does to people like you and your wonderful perverse sensibilities.

  13. Sammy - If being smarter than George Bush is an adequate criterion for judging similarities, I'm pretty sure we have something in common with, well everyone in the world but George Bush, really... I'll make sure to stop by your place soon to find out if there's something else we have in common. ;)

    Linda - You're so very welcome, you deserve a whole bunch of sunshine awards. And some cookies and whipped cream too, but I think it's best if I don't try to ship those to you... Although, once I did send gingerbread cookies to someone in the USA, and while I'm sure they didn't really like the cookies, the cookies at least made it there intact.

    Mrsblogalot - You're welcome! It was my pleasure to spread some sunshine to you, you deserve it.

    Lauren - You are too kind! I'm just happy I'm lucky enough to get to read your blog and give you some sunshine. Off to play with my imaginary friends!

    Candice - Thank you! And you're welcome, you totally crack me up every time I read your blog, which in my book is definitely worthy of some sunshine. ;)

    Jen - I can't wait for the day when I'll get to say that I don't miss school at all. Because I totally won't miss school at all. Well maybe a little, but mostly because you can do a lot of drinking while in school. It's not called alcoholism if you're in college, I've been told.

    Nicky - Thank you, thank you, thank you and thank you! Yeah, about that pregnancy, we caught a break this time, but we really need to be more careful in the future. No one wants little green mini condoms running around speaking with a freaky accent.

    ReformingGeek - Thank you and congrats on your own award! I'm glad you like "Ziva", even though it's not my real name. I wanted to say that I really like "Reforming Geek" too, but that might actually be your real name, and then I would be embarrassed, so I'll just shut up now.

    Mike - So technically, if you had one ski, and I had the other ski, together we would have been unstoppable! Skiing through the woods, leaving a trail of blood behind us... It's almost poetic.

    Frank - Thank you. Or not.

    00dozo - Thank you and you're welcome! I just know that all that sunshine is going to look awesome on your blog. You really shouldn't be so confused, it messes with your head and then you'll suddenly start thinking weird stuff. Like that I might, or might not be, pregnant.

    Sin - I think the weird ostkaka thing is mostly confined to Sweden, thank God. Ostkaka over here means cheesecake, and that, my love, means sweet goodness that just melts on your tongue. I'm very careful not to disrupt my perverse sensibilities by eating the wrong kind of cheesecake. And I promise I'll write you an email soon!

  14. Ziva: 'Blessed be for those who would bless me.' Yeah, I think I made it (the award) too big? But, come on over and judge for yourself.

    heh. heh. heh.

  15. Oh, for Ukko's sake! I inspire you? To what? To run away to the Pöyrisjärvi and live on reindeer and berries until the snow and ice finally arrive in a chariot to carry you to Valhalla? To give up blogging? To lie in bed for days at a time, half awake, with "Steve" in one hand while you stare absentmindedly at the picture of the naked woman above your bed and dream of chocolate cheesecake and being able to fly without crashing back to Earth and landing on nails?


    Your dark heart knows full well that I haven't inspired anyone anywhere at any time in my entire miserable life! What a huge steaming pile of hyperbolic shit you've just thrown at your readers, many of whom are intelligent enough to see that you were desperately scrambling to find 12 bloggers, let alone 12 bloggers you admire, to pass the award to. You would’ve been better off—and far more honest—to simply say, “Hey, I got this flowery Sunshine Award and I’m required to pass it on, so here, Mike, take it off my hands before I start to feel cheerful and inadvertently say something nice.”

    Still, thank you, Ziva, or whatever your real name is. (I guess the only thing we know about you for sure is that your name isn’t Ziva.) I’m quite honored. And you are right about one thing: I need the sunshine, however distasteful it seems to me. Work and school and life have been—how would a positive person say this?—a bit too “challenging” lately, Piru be cursed. But, like you, I’m done with school, feeling relieved and starting to get my strength back. Soon, I will emerge from Tuonela, turn my face to the sun and walk the forests again with Mesikämmen, looking for fish and honey.

  16. You are still alive, aren't you? Bloggers keep popping off on me lately.

  17. 00dozo - You made it perfect!

    MikeWJ - I'm alive! I've been busy soaking up the sunshine we're getting over here. Also, school's not quite over yet. I have an exam next week that I'm studying for, but I'm feeling good about it because if things go well, this will be the last exam I'll have to take. Ever. I'm glad you're starting to get your strength back, though. And even though I know you'll probably win this argument just by being stubborn, I have to say that you do too inspire me. I find grumpy skeletons who can write really well oddly inspiring, Piru be cursed.

  18. Thanks Ziva! And about awards, I be givin' you another one. So, whenever you re-surface (and I hope you haven't been eaten by a killer whale in the meantime), come do a fly-by, so to speak, at my place!



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