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| Not the center of the universe. |
The sun didn’t mind at all, since it
basically just had to sit there and rotate around its own axis and enjoy being
the center of the universe, right up until the early 1800’s when some dufus
realized that heliocentrism was so 1754 and proved that the sun was not, in fact,
the center of the universe, much to the sun's dismay.
The moon didn’t mind either, it was too
busy spinning on its own axis, while revolving around the earth at a rate of a
menstrual cycle, while simultaneously revolving around the sun with the earth,
all the while making sure never to let the earth see its behind. It basically
had its hands full with all the spinning to really care about what the earth
was doing.
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| The moon, in case it wasn't clear. |
Someone who did mind, though, was the poor
guy on earth in charge of time. He tried everything to get rid of those 0.25 extra
rotations, including the old decimal point trick, making his dog eat his notes
and running really fast in one place to see if he could speed up the earth’s
rotation by 0.75 rotations per year.
Nothing worked.
And so, he created the leap day.
A day that Saint Patrick, the patron saint
of Ireland,
loved dearly. Saint Patrick also loved women, and felt they should be as free
as men. Free to do absolutely anything they wanted, whenever they wanted. And
so, he decided that women should be allowed to propose to men just as men can
propose to women. Of course, women would only be allowed to do it on one day
every four years, and lo and behold, leap day seemed like the perfect choice.
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| It took me forever to find a picture of the earth that showed something other than the Americas. |
In Finland we took the tradition to heart, and now every February 29th, women walk around popping the question left and right. And as an added bonus, the Finnish version of the tradition dictates that the proposal is to be taken very seriously, and if you by some twisted turn of fate have to turn her down, you owe the poor woman fabric for a skirt.
As the resourceful entrepreneur I am, I have of course turned this whole leap day thing into a successful business. I’ve spent the entire day proposing to men, and subsequently being rejected. In about 32 years I’ll have enough fabric to make a circus tent, and then I can finally realize my childhood dream!
Did you know that the first mechanical clock was made in China?
ReplyDeleteSun Dials were before hourglasses. I think everybody just counted on the placement of the sun in the old days. I don't know what they did in Finland though because there really isn't much in the way of sun.
If I was in Finland, I'd be proposing to men too all day today. (We just won't tell them I'm already married.) I love nice fabrics, but in 32 years I'll be dead and I won't be needing them than.
Oh, Ziva, you are the centre of my universe. Just what is it you are proposing that we do?
ReplyDeleteOK. I just adjusted my globe so the Americas are not showing....
ReplyDeleteThat's funny that most of the photos show the Americas.
I celebrated Leap Day not by proposing to men (I don't need any fabric) but by getting a cleaning at the dentist. Whoopee.
Let me get this straight: You're proposing to men hoping to get enough cloth to pitch a tent. The Freudian implications of this behavior are staggering.
ReplyDeleteAny chance you can rotate the globe a bit more so that the UK is in the centre of the picture?
ReplyDeleteI find it astonishing that you are tricking men into giving you fabric when I've got a shed full of circus material just waiting to be used. So essentially you spent yesterday driving malekind mad, but you missed your chance, so I'm going to have to give my circus cloth to somebody else.
I'll rotate it so Finland is in the center, how's that? I'd think you guys over there in the UK would be used to being a little off-center.
ReplyDeleteUhm, you know Finland operates on Honolulu time, right? It's still Wednesday here, and I've just been so busy with all the proposing I haven't gotten to you yet.
That said, will you marry me?
The dentist? Yuck! You have a twisted way of celebrating, my friend.
ReplyDeleteSure, sure, sure, so many questions and so little time, I'll say yes to anything at this time of day.
ReplyDeleteSo romantic. You do realize it will be a lot cheaper to just hand over that circus cloth than to marry me, right? Because I will be needing those elephants...
ReplyDeleteRomantic? God what have I agreed to? And I could have done with getting rid of that cloth AND I'm already married. This situation is getting horribly complex. How about we call the whole thing off and I forward on your CV to my local circus.
ReplyDeleteWell, we are all going to have to learn how to share, because I'm moving in (I can't possibly turn down your local circus, after all) and I'm bringing my fiancé and two cats. I hope you have a big bed.
ReplyDeleteActually, Linda, we’re still using the sun to tell time. Sun means summer, no sun means winter. It’s a good system, simple, easy to remember.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think you should be proposing to too many men, not with your fabulous legs. The poor guys probably wouldn’t be able to help themselves, and there you’d be, with no fabric and a ton of husbands.
You, your fiance and your cats can stay the shed with our guinea pigs.
ReplyDeleteYou mean in the shed, period. There'd be no more guinea pigs after my cats moved in.
ReplyDeleteif I were you were I'd be worrying abou the well-being of your cats.
ReplyDeleteHold your horses, old man! You’ve now gone from practically begging me to propose to you, to putting me in the shed with the farm animals and threatening my cats. It’s almost as if you don’t really want to marry me at all.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I could really use some help pitching that tent once I get enough cloth. It's going to be huge!
ReplyDeleteOh, Dufus, you're such a sweet talker. I'm assuming Mrs. Dufus isn't too into sharing, so I propose we unite our powers and try to take over the world. Or you could teach me to play golf, I've always wondered where the fascination lies in playing with sticks and balls.
ReplyDeleteLeap year this year meant an extra day of winter, snow, and my having to wait one extra day to leave on vacation. And, alas, no proposals.
ReplyDeleteYour post doesn't specify that the Leap Day tradition in Finland excludes women proposing to women.
ReplyDeleteAhem. I'm waiting.
Nicky, love of my life, will you marry me? We can ditch our men and kids and cats and run off into the sunset together. We'll have to wait a couple of hours, though, the sun doesn't set until 6 pm.
ReplyDeleteDid you want a proposal? Because I'm getting really good at this. All you have to do is say the word and I'll be down on one knee.
ReplyDeleteCan you make your content column wider so that we can talk about this...?
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I learn to play I'll teach you. I'll let you play with my stick. What?
ReplyDeleteZiva to Mo.
ReplyDeleteThere, I fixed it. ;)
I never knew the reason behind Leap Day/Year. Nor, had I ever heard about your proposal tradition. Loved both stories, but I can't imagine ANYONE rejecting a marriage proposal from you!
ReplyDeleteOf course I will! It's not like I have a choice really. I don't have any fabric to give you.
ReplyDeleteOh... nowwww I get it. I was wondering why I haven't been able to stop getting laid all day.
ReplyDeleteAnd by all day, I mean yesterday.
ReplyDeleteOh Meleah, you'd be surprised, they didn't seem to have any trouble rejecting me. Often the rejection was accompanied by comments such as "freak", "not in a million years" and "why would I want to marry someone who eats souls?"
ReplyDeleteWomen in Canada must be doing it wrong, they're not supposed to be proposing a quick lay, they're supposed to propose marriage.
ReplyDeleteThat said, good for you, Mike! I'm so spending next leap day in Canada, I hear Canadian girls are great.
ReplyDeleteOh, the love, it's overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteAwesome, I can't wait.
ReplyDeleteCan you make your content column wider so that we can talk about this...?
ReplyDelete