And You Know What's Funny? I Hate Disqus.

Last night at about 9:45 pm, M and I looked at each other in surprise, and I asked M, ”is that thunder I hear?”

Normally thunder wouldn’t be such a foreign concept so that I would look and sound surprised to hear thunder, but last night, like the past 60 or so nights, winter had us in her cold grasp. And as it so happens, thunder and winter don’t match. So when I heard what I thought was thunder, I was indeed very surprised.

M didn’t have time to answer my question, because suddenly we heard what can only be described as an explosion, and our entire 7-story apartment building shook and vibrated for a second.

“We’re going to die!” I thought.

“Huh.” Thought M.

“The building is going to collapse and I’ll never get to have kids and fish and a huge wedding that sucks all the life and money out of us!” I thought.

“That was weird.” Thought M.

“Holy shit, oh my god, oh my god!!” I thought.

“Very weird indeed.” Thought M.

“What the fuck was that??” I asked M.

“I have no idea.” Answered M.

“It sounded like an explosion!” I said.

“Or as if someone dropped something heavy.” Offered M.

“And created thunder and shook the entire building??” I countered.

“Perhaps it was very heavy?” Pondered M.

“Idiot.” I lovingly exclaimed.

Then, not three hours later, at 12:30 am, we once again heard a great big bang and felt the entire building shake and vibrate.

“We’re going to die!” I thought.

“Huh.” Thought M.

“The building is going to collapse and I’ll never get to have kids and fish and a huge wedding that sucks all the life and money out of us!” I thought.

“That was weird.” Thought M.

“Holy shit, oh my god, oh my god!!” I thought.

“Very weird indeed.” Thought M.

“What the fuck was that??” I asked M, “AGAIN!!”

“I have no idea.” Answered M.

“That’s not normal.” I wisely deducted.

“No.” Agreed M.

“I’m calling the cops.” I stated.

“That might be wise.” Surmised M.

And so I did. Two fine policemen came over and found our story very strange indeed. Almost puzzling, you could say. However, seeing no evidence of any sorts of explosions, they left again, but promised to be on the lookout for any and all unauthorized explosions in and around our apartment building.

Back in the apartment I tried to tell myself that apartment buildings don’t come crashing down just because they’ve shook around a little. I failed miserably. Why, oh why, do I have to have such solid arguments? I tried telling myself that there wasn’t a crazy person roaming around, trying to take down the building. Instead, I tried telling myself that there had been an earthquake. In the most seismically uneventful region of the world. I did a fairly good job of convincing myself it had been an earthquake, right up until the moment I checked all seismic watch sites I could possibly find, only to see that there hadn’t been an earthquake in Turku in 700 years.

At 2 am M finally decided nothing more was going to happen and went to bed. I also went to bed. And got up again an hour later to check that the rest of the neighborhood was still in one piece. It was. But I simply couldn’t sleep. By 5 am my heart rate had finally come down to triple digits again, and I entertained the notion of a couple hours of sleep, but at that precise moment a third explosion occurred. It wasn’t as big, but I could definitely feel it. I would definitely not be getting any sleep, since I clearly was the only thing holding this building together.

And that, my dear friends, is the story of how Disqus has suddenly appeared as the new commenting tool on this here blog. It’s incredible the things you have time to do when you don’t sleep. *

And You Know What's Funny? I Hate Disqus.