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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Haven

We all have that place inside us, don’t we? That inner haven where magic happens, where chocolate doesn’t have calories and copious amounts of wine is good for you, not to mention socially acceptable. It’s a place of moody skies and stormy waters, a place to calm the soul. We seek out that place when life gets to be too much. Too much stress, too much pressure, too much heartache.

But sometimes when we need it the most, that place is gone. Empty and barren. We count on it, rely on it, we need it to be there when we call on it; but one day, it’s just not there. Hopes and dreams live on, growing sour, more and more desperate as time goes by.

Foiled by our own self, we’re lost.



This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is Haven. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Nicky, You Better Put Out

“You better put out,” is what I told Nicky when she asked me to participate in the madness that is 30 minus 2 Days of Writing. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine she would turn that little comment into a prompt. Mostly because I imagine a lot of non-repeatable things about Nicky in my wildest dreams, and a silly little writing prompt doesn’t even merit a stray appearance. Had I been inclined to think about it, though, I’m sure I would’ve seen it coming, but being as focused on awkward bananas as I was, it took me by surprise.

So here I am, trying to write about Nicky putting out for me without straying into R-rated territory.. And people, I’m not having much luck with it. So instead, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to tell you the story of how I fell in love with Nicky. I’ve told you this story before, but I think Nicky’s awesome enough that she deserves to hear it again.

It was a beautiful spring day. It could also have been fall, or winter, or even summer, I can’t really remember, but it’s not important to the story anyway, so just go with it.

It was a beautiful spring/fall/winter/summer day. Of course, since I can’t even remember what time of year it was, I can’t really say for sure that it was a beautiful day. It could very well have been raining small popular mammals or snowing or even just been overcast and dull. Finnish weather isn’t very predictable and I can’t be expected to remember what the weather was like that beautiful spring day. Anyway, let’s just get on with the story.

Small popular mammal.

It was a beautiful/rainy/overcast/gray/snowy spring/fall/winter/summer day. Come to think of it, it probably wasn’t even day, what with the time zones and all. It was probably in the middle of the night and I should have been in bed hours ago and I probably had to work the next day and I probably spent all day at work yawning like Mike’s faceless skull, and then I probably took a nap after work, which shifted my internal clock forward to make me more internet-adapted, but at the same time making me less work-adapted and less Finland-adapted, which eventually resulted in the permanent black circles I have under my eyes now as a result of living on four hours of sleep every night.

Back to the story.

It was a beautiful/rainy/overcast/gray/snowy spring/fall/winter/summer day/night/evening/morning. You know, it probably didn’t even happen in one day or night at all. Now that I think about it, it happened over time, slowly but surely, like the sun slowly growing and expanding until it eventually kills everything on this planet in a raging inferno of fire and brimstone, souls screaming in agony and babies crying for their mommy, but less gruesome and more sweet.

Okay, that doesn’t really work story-wise, either. I think it’s best if we just start over completely, don’t you think?

The first time she commented on my blog, I thought she was a man. She spelled her name weirdly, like a man, and she grabbed her balls a lot, too. Or so I thought, but as it turned out, she didn’t have any balls so I guess she mostly just grabbed her man’s balls. Or maybe she didn’t grab any balls at all and that’s something I made up just now. I really don’t know, I’m writing this at work and I think my brain is still asleep because I stayed up too late reading her blog again.

Magic 8-ball, shown here with small popular mammal.
Not relevant to the story.


I’m really not doing the story justice.

I love Nicky, okay?! And I have to tell you, she gives awesome Skype.



This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is You better put out. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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Monday, February 4, 2013

Friendship

Do you know that horrible and dark feeling when you’re walking up a set of stairs and you know there’s one more step, except there isn’t, and for a brief, harrowing moment, even with your foot just inches off the floor, you’re falling, helpless; what once was an absolute truth to you, ceases to exist in the blink of an eye. Know that feeling?

Yeah, friendship is nothing like that.

True friendship, while sometimes a bit harrowing (especially with friends like Zelma), is a beautiful, stable and permanent thing.

Let me demonstrate for you.

Picture if you will, a swamp. Not a big Florida swamp, more like a smallish area of knee-deep water in the Finnish woods. Now picture two girls, about nine or ten years old, playing at the swamp, jumping from one little grassy island to another. Ziva is the one in orange jeans and Zelma is the one with pigtails.

Now picture a cat. She belongs to Zelma, but in reality, she belongs to no one. She comes and goes as she pleases, and only seeks out the company of people when she can't be bothered to catch her own dinner. She's a tabby, and she's sitting by a tree, watching the girls play. To anyone watching her she appears bored, which would make sense, because she is.

She’s not really paying attention to what the girls are saying -- a big mistake. The girls are getting excited now, voices raised. They’re scrambling around, trying to find a suitable piece of wood. They find one; a two-foot long board, and they test it to see if it floats. It does, as wood has tendency to do.

Ziva, in her orange jeans, is animated, gesturing and laughing, plotting. Zelma is laughing, too, but it’s not clear whether she’s laughing at Ziva, or with Ziva. Either way, she’s clearly onboard with whatever it is Ziva’s up to.

Ziva grabs the cat and Zelma holds the board steady. Onto the board goes the cat and out into the swamp goes the board. Laugher and panicked meows mingle in the air, an awkward marriage of happy and horrified.

The girls are watching the amazing sailing cat, slowly traveling across the vast ocean. The cat isn’t as happy, of course. She’s frantic, tail bushy with adrenaline. She’s gone from lazily enjoying her life to survival mode in five seconds flat.

On solid ground, Ziva and Zelma are too busy enjoying the spectacle to consider terms such as “animal cruelty” or “horribly mean little girls”, and they scream with laughter as the poor cat makes a jump for it, narrowly misses the dry grass and ends up with a very wet tail.

Back in the now, Ziva and Zelma have a developed a fashion sense and a conscience, but one thing remains the same; whether the suggestion is to run away to Sweden, get drunk in a cave, or put on an impromptu flute concert in a park, the other one is always game.

And that’s what friendship is; never second-guessing each other’s decisions, always being there for them, and sometimes simply joining them in the crazy.



This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is Friendship. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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Sunday, February 3, 2013

And The Next Thing I Knew, I Was In a Mental Asylum

M-N-O-P, M-N-O-P, M-N-O-P, Nilsson, I before O, Nilsson before Nordström… O before P, no wait.. Yes, O before P. K-L-M, K-L, K-L, K-L, K-L......

There are no windows in this room. Six feet by ten feet of darkness and misery.

R-S-T-U... R-S-T...

A bare light bulb hangs in the ceiling and I can feel my sanity slowly draining from me as I shuffle the papers back and forth.

C-D-E-F, E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F...

I shake my head. If I don’t catch myself in time I’ll go into broken record mode and an hour will go by with me simply staring at the files, silently repeating the same two letters over and over again.

Someone laughs manically and the sound frightens me until I realize I’m the one laughing. All is good.

G-H-I-J, F-G-H, Gustafsson before Häggblom.

My skin feels like paper, and I briefly stop to stare at my hand. I wonder if all the filing has made me one with the archives. I wonder what kind of superhero that would make me. The Amazing Archive Girl  - ask me anything, I know everything. Yes, even that. Oh, or maybe The Paper Girl – because paper cuts hurt like a bitch. I could definitely see this being a hit on the big screen. I’ll be rich. Christopher Nolan, call me.

Nolan. Before Nordström, after Nilsson.

I’m standing in a pool of my own sanity. It’s green.  P-Q... Not a lot of surnames beginning with Q over here. Hell, we don’t even have a lot of words containing it. Silly little letter. We should take it out of the alphabet. Sell it to the French.

Å-Ä-Ö, Å-Ä-Ö... I love the cute little dots and circles. Try explaining them to an American, though. Impossible. Like... well, explaining something to an American.

K-L-M, K-L-M, K-L-M... Look at that, something's floating in my sanity. Ohh! It’s a raisin!

Lunch is served.


This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is And the next thing I knew. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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Saturday, February 2, 2013

Hold On

Sanity is a fickle thing, anchored in us only by way of rational thinking. But the rational mind can at times be horribly irrational, and when irrationality is present, rationality is absent, and in the absence of rationality there can only be irrationality, rationally speaking. It’s a dangerous thing when irrationality takes ahold of rationality and tries to rationalize its way into the rational mind. See, with rationality in mind, sanity is never far away, but holding onto that rational thinking is imperative to keeping irrationality at bay; it’s far too easy to simply lose hold of one’s sanity, like that elusive piece of slippery soap in the communal shower.

Remember this, my friends, and stay tuned for tomorrow’s story, in which, I lose hold of my sanity and will eventually have to bend over.


This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is Hold on. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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Friday, February 1, 2013

A Fate Worse Than Death

The moment of death doesn’t happen when the body stops breathing.

No, that’s just the final release.

True death happens a long time before the body gives up. It happens as the inevitability of fate settles on the mind like tar, poisoning thoughts and tearing the future away. Gone is the blue sky and sun-warmed skin. Gone is the sound of laughter and friendly faces. Gone is the smell of freshly cut grass and that moment when laughter gets so intense it starts to hurt.

There is no time to mourn happy memories. The silence is deafening, filling existence with its wail, its black light so bright that everything becomes a reflection of what it was.

And you take her hand and force yourself to look at her, really look at her, as the words sink in. Torture, stripped of its weapons and reduced to those seven words, finally reveal its purest form.

“There will be cheese on your food.”


This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is Cheesy. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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