Brain for Sale

My brain has a mind of its own. I know this sounds a bit strange, seeing as how my brain, in fact, houses my own mind, but that's beside the point. My brain has a mind of its own. And apparently that mind is horribly afraid of oversleeping and being late. So afraid, in fact, that whenever I have to get up earlier than 7am, it wakes me up in the middle of the night and makes sure I can't go back to sleep. Apparently this mind completely missed the memo about those little things called alarm clocks. It keeps me wide awake until I decide to get up and start getting ready. And it keeps me wide awake the entire time I'm getting ready for work and only when I get in the car and start driving is it properly reassured that I won't go back to bed and be late.

At this point that mind stops keeping me awake by force, and just settles back for a smooth ride. When this happens, my own mind takes over. Now, keep in mind that my own mind hasn't had more than 3 hours of sleep and is still in a mild coma. What invariably happens next is I turn the radio on as loud as I can stand, hoping that this ancient method of torture will help me survive the 30-minute drive without falling asleep.

That's roughly what happened again this morning. Then I spent the entire day at work marvelling over the fact that it apparently isn't enough that time can stand still, it can also run backwards. I noticed this when I kept looking at my clock and every time I checked it was getting earlier and earlier. I would love to talk to whoever said it was okay for time to do that.

But, I digress. For reasons explained above, I am selling my brain to the highest bidder. Any takers? *

Brain for Sale