Thursday, March 11, 2010

Cheating My Way To A Beautiful Blog

I need some advice. The incredibly funny Candice, from Life According to Candice, is hosting a free giveaway that I absolutely need to win. One lucky soul will win a free blog makeover. A makeover! I could finally get rid of the nasty brown heart up there that is nothing like my own little shrivelled black heart. I need to win this. It couldn’t be better if she were giving away little pieces of pure gold. Um, well actually, gold would do. I’m not picky. But I am, however, worried that I might not win this just by entering the draw. I need to make sure she picks me. Here’s where your advice would come in handy.

I have already thought of some ways to ensure my success in the contest. First, I’m going to bribe Candice. I’m sure a nice little puppy would do. I’m also going to lavish Candice, who’s not only extremely good-looking, but also thoughtful, sexy, kind and not at all as stupid as you’d think by looking at her blonde hair, with flattery. I also considered babysitting her kids so she could get it on with her husband, but I’m not really a babysitting kinda person. And I thought about washing her car, but I’m not really a washing kinda person either.

M is leaving for Estonia tomorrow so I’ll have the entire weekend to myself and I plan to do nothing but suck up to Candice. Wonderful, amazing, Candice. Now, I know that my sucking up and my flattery will take care of the win for me, but just in case Candice proves difficult to bribe… Does anyone know how to rig that generator thing in my favor? *


  1. You get the extra points for flattery for sure ;)

    good luck!

  2. Candice - Awesome! You are going to make one lucky blogger very happy. (Please, let it be me...)

  3. I don't have any advice for you because I don't know Candice except as a competitor (we both recently duked it out over a blogging award) and I don't have any idea how to make her happy.

    But I hope you win. Her blog's new look is really amazing. I like it a lot.

    And I have to add that I don't think the brown heart being washed away by the sea reflects your true nature. Or maybe it does, and I don't really know you, either. I know you like the sea, hate the snow, love Kent, crave Reese's candy, have at least a passing interest in girl-girl action, hate Russians (or is just Russia?), and are terribly afraid of having your car catch on fire. Maybe if you win, the designer who did Candice's blog can incorporate all those themes into your new blog. That would be very cool.

  4. Mike - Ohh, a blog header with all those things would be perfect! Especially the burning car. Horrifying, but perfect.

    You're mighty observant, aren't you? You pretty much have me pegged there in your little analysis. (I don't as much hate Russia, as I am very aware of its close proximity and the fact that they held Finland hostage for the better part of the 19th century.) I actually do have a serious side, but I try to repress it best I can. Life is so much more entertaining when you don't take it too seriously. Add a little girl-on-girl action and it's perfect.

  5. I guess hate's a strong word. But being held hostage for 100 years or so would tend to make one a little wary, wouldn't it?

    And I guess you and I are similar in that we have a serious side but try to laugh as much as possible. What else can you do?

    Anyway, I really can't wait to see your new flaming musical oceanic snowless girly-girl header. I think your readership (and some of your readers) will go waaaaaay up. If Candice won't get it done for you, I can refer you to some Russian spammers who might be able to help you out, especially with the girly-girl part.

  6. Mike - You're just trying to get rid of your Russian spammers, I know it. But now I'm wondering... I can see how it would be possible to work in all those things in the header, but how do you make a point of NOT having snow in it?

  7. Ziva, I think you could make a point of no snow by having the words, "Look, No Snow!" written into it somewhere. That would point it out quite plainly :D

    As for the rest, sorry no advice on how to rig the random generator, nor have I ever even heard of Candice before this post, so I don't know what would work for bribery. Anyway, good luck in your pursuit of "Cheating my way to a beautiful blog!"

  8. Skye - Thanks! I'm preparing my acceptance speech right now, just in case. I've never won anything in my entire life, but there's a first time for everything, right?

    I like your no snow idea. And then maybe I could rename the blog "Ziva's Inferno - Cause It Never Snows In Hell".

  9. I think you are a shoe in. Puppy and baby sitting?? How could she not rig it just a little for you? I know I would!

  10. The absence of snow, like the absence of hate, speaks for itself.

  11. Mrsblogalot - I'm keeping my fingers crossed, I really need a new look. Maybe I should tell her that for a makeover I would keep her home spider-free for all eternity...

    Mike - that's almost poetic.



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