I actually had breakfast today. Muesli and yogurt. (Or müsli for those of us who are a little better than everyone else.) It was okay. Not really worth getting up for, but I was already up so it doesn’t really matter. Speaking of breakfast, last night I went to see Alice in Wonderland. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped it would be, but I always enjoy a little Johnny Depp. And he wears his makeup better than any grown man I’ve ever seen. Sadly, they didn’t have any breakfast. They hardly even had tea.
Someone who does have breakfast every single day is M. He gets up, does his thing and then sits down for breakfast. He spends about an hour reading the paper and eating his yogurt. And then he gets up and leaves for work. Did you notice how I left out the part where he would normally have pushed his chair back in?
I knew you’d notice, you’re smart like that.
Yes, M has a chair problem. A breakfast chair problem. He doesn’t have this problem during any other meal. Dinner, lunch, brunch, supper, elevenses… No problem. But come breakfast and he appears to lose all capability of operating a basic chair.
This is how my morning usually goes: M’s alarm goes off 20 or 30 times, depending on how many times he can fall back asleep and how hard I hit him when the damned thing doesn’t shut up. He gets up and leaves me in bed, wide awake. He does his thing, eats his yogurt and wakes me up to tell me he’s leaving for work just when I’ve gone back to sleep. After he’s left, I get up. I walk to the kitchen and start my day by pushing in his chair. Every day.
Some time ago I brought it to his attention that he has this problem. He didn’t believe me. So I did what anyone would have done. I took a post-it, wrote “Evidence #1” on it, and put it on the chair and left the chair out, just as he left it.
When M came home and saw the chair and realized I was indeed right (I usually am), he laughed a little and promised he wouldn’t leave the chair out again. Today I wrote “Evidence #17” on a little post-it. He definitely has a breakfast chair problem.
Do you know where I could find a Chair Problems Anonymous around here?
The original post-it was written in Swedish, but I wrote a new one for your viewing pleasure. You’re welcome.
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What afun post. and what an odd trait to not push the chair in only for breakfast?! BTW, my mother loved muesli--I do too bt so hard to find here.
ReplyDeleteI think he does all of this in his sleep. It's a wonder they make it to work.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for eating breakfast!
I usually have black coffee and toast for breakfast- I hate getting up in the morning and this is the only thing that wakes me up.
ReplyDeleteWow, that sounds really serious. Hope you get M's problem sorted out. And please, be supportive, don't abandon him in his struggle.
ReplyDeleteBreakfast is a must for me. I typically have an egg white omlette. Sadly I was unable to choke one down before work this morning. Look out world!
ReplyDeleteMmm - I love muesli too! And we're lucky, it practically grows on trees over here. It's everywhere.
ReplyDeleteReformingGeek - You know, I think you're right. He probably doesn't actually wake up until he gets to work. Good thing he walks to work as opposed to driving. I think driving in your sleep might be frowned upon.
Living Shallow, Living Well - I'm with you, I hate getting up in the morning. I also hate the taste of coffee, which is probably why I can't drag my ass out of bed before lunch.
Jonas - I'm so happy you realize the magnitude of his problem! Maybe we should stage an intervention...
Candice - Today I had a piece of chocolate and a glass of apple juice for breakfast... Your breakfast sounds a bit more healthy, I have to say..
Personally, I'm way more concerned about the fact that M has yogurt for breakfast than the fact that he fails to push his chair back in. What kind of man eats yogurt for breakfast? Shouldn't he be eating some kind of dead, heavily smoked, heavily salted animal? Is he... you know...I mean I don't want to be indelicate here...but is he...well, have you two ever...I mean, is he...well, I maybe I should just ask it straight out. Is he European?
ReplyDeleteThis is just delightful. If you find a meeting of Chair Problems Anonymous in the States, please share. B has a chair problem too, but his is much more serious, as it includes the chairs at every meal, home or out.
ReplyDeleteMy post for Theme Thursday is up here.
Mike - It's a miracle! Today we had bacon and eggs for breakfast AND he pushed in his chair! Apparently there's nothing like a little public humiliation to get the ball rolling. Also, I think it helped a lot that you accused him of being... well, you know...European.
ReplyDeletePattiKen - Wow, that doesn't sound good at all. I really hope you manage to find some help for B, he needs it badly. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I don't know what muesli is but Johnny Depp...now there's some good bacon.
ReplyDeleteMrsblogalot - Johnny Depp... bacon... You're making me drool.
ReplyDeleteI just ate bacon....made me think of Johnny Depp.
ReplyDeleteMuschu - That's weird, I did the exact same thing! I had bacon and it made me think of becoming fat and how Johnny Depp would never want me now.
ReplyDelete