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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Open Letter to Iceland

Dear Iceland,

Your horses are lovely, and your hot springs are pure magic. Or so I’ve heard. But your timing sucks. See, a couple of weeks ago M and I decided we’d had enough of the chilly Finnish spring, and bought two plane tickets to Greece. Are you listening? Greece! We’re leaving next Tuesday and will be spending one long, glorious week in Athens where it’s warm, summery and sunny. I know these concepts are foreign to you, but think of summer as that time in the year when the ice is less cold, and then you multiply it by a hundred and add a singing monkey or two. See, in Athens there’s the Acropolis, and the, well, the Acropolis, and… it’s like the birthplace of modern civilization or something. Fine, I’m gonna do some research, okay? But it’s like totally great, and we’re going there.

At least that was the plan. Enter you, Iceland. It seems like you always have some unplugged hole, spewing crap at the world. First it was Björk, then it was Eyjafjallajökull, and now it’s Grimsvötn.

Björk, dressed in her favorite pet.

Iceland, if you’re reading this, I always get a terrible headache flying through volcanic ash, so I would be very happy if you could hold off any further eruptions until after we get back.

Thank you. *
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35 comments:

  1. Just another example of the disrespect shown to humans by nature. Punish it! Punish it good!

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  2. Exactly! You are so right! Now... when you think of a way to punish an active volcano, I'm all ears. (No cheese though, this volcano isn't lactose intolerant.)

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  3.  Cheese is so not going to save the day on this one.

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  4. Also,  Grimsvötn is a totally awesome nefarious name and it fits that volcano like a glove. Which is more than I can say about Bjork's dress.

    Ok, I actually like Bjorks dress. Sorry Bjork!

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  5. Oh dear.  That dress is disturbing as are ash-spewing volcanoes.  Ugh.

    I'll start blowing.  Maybe the ash will dissipate.

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  6. mikewjattoomanymorningsMay 26, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    I appealed to Ukko for help in this matter and, today, Grimsvotn stopped being so naughty.

    You're welcome. Now enjoy your trip to Greece. I'll be fine here in the same old, same old Colorado, thank you for asking.

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  7. mikewjattoomanymorningsMay 26, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    You should be able to get a decent Gyros at the Acropolis, I think.

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  8. mikewjattoomanymorningsMay 26, 2011 at 2:11 AM

    It'd be like a giant fondue. The Swiss would probably show up in droves.

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  9. Greece!  How lovely.  Sorry Mother Earth decided to vomit up ash all over your plans.  Hopefully, she can keep it down long enough for you to get there and back.  Or just there.  Maybe you won't want to come back.  Happy sunning.  

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  10. That's actually not a bad thing...you could then shove them into the volcano! Instant sacrifices to appease the angry Icelandic volcano gods!!

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  11. My parents are in Greece! On the island of Kephalonia, west of the mainland, near Ithaka. Drop in and tell them I sent you :-)

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  12. I guess Iceland's doing spring cleaning and is dusting off the old volcanoes. Christ! She could have waited a week or two. Hope you're able to get some sun and sand in Greece. Sounds like heaven.

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  13. I just can't get past the fact that you are going to Greece.  The only other country I'VE ever been to is Canada--and I practically live there already, so it wasn't that big of a deal.  My jealously knows no bounds.

    Hopefully, the volcano will cooperate and be good until you come back from your trip.  Have fun...and know that I am here, feeling depressed.

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  14. Oh man! You're to Greece? *insert insane jealousy*.

    Seriously though, have a FANTASTIC time. Travel safe, and I cannot wait to hear all about when you get back!

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  15. It sucks to be Iceland. Or is that blows?

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  16. You were totally reading my mind Dufus, I was going to say pretty much the same thing.

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  17. Wow! Frank i like your new avitar/gravitar thingy. Is that really you? You're pretty hunky.

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  18. Iceland needs to toss some virgins into the volcano.  That works I've heard.  I love Greece and Greek people too.  Eat drink and be merry and dance!  Iceland is not the place for a vacation even without the volcano erupting.  I'm very excited about your holiday!  Hold your breathe when flying over Iceland.

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  19. Exactly, you'd think they'd understood that virgins will always help, no matter what the problem is. But Linda, honey, you do know we won't even come close to flying over Iceland when we fly from Finland to Greece, right? The ash is in the atmosphere and is brought in over Europe with the winds. Luckily the ash seems to be disappearing quickly now that the volcano is quiet again.

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  20. Thank you Meleah, I'm sure going to try my best to have a fantastic time! I'll probably have to carry a notebook with me at all times so I won't forget anything when I write about it later...

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  21.  Oh, I probably shouldn't tell you about when I visited Italy, then... Or France, or England, or Germany, or Belgium, or Luxembourg, or Tenerife, or Sweden, or Denmark... But you know, at least I've never been to Canada.... ;)

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  22.  Thank you Reffie, you must have really good lungs, because apparently the ash cloud will be completely gone by tomorrow!

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  23. I really don't like the way this conversation is going. Firstly, the only thing worse than an ash-spewing volcano is a volcano-sized fondue, and secondly, if we sacrifice all the Swiss, who's going to make Toblerone??

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  24.  Tell me the truth, you probably have that exact same dress in your closet, don't you?

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  25. Thank you for making that awful volcano stop vomiting and saving our trip. I promise I'll take tons of pictures so you can live vicariously through me. You won't even notice you were never actually in Greece.

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  26. Thanks Jayne! I wouldn't be terribly sad if I had to stay in Greece another week, or so... I wonder if there's another volcano in Iceland that I can piss off..

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  27.  Oh, I totally will! And I'll become their new best friend and then they'll tell me all about the time when little Nicky ate all those live worms, and ran naked all around town, and then they'll bring out the old photo albums..

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  28. Yes, Iceland should really check with me first before scheduling a natural disaster. They're just so inconsiderate! I really hope we'll get some sun and sand in Greece, but I'm afraid we might get some rain, too. But at least it will be really warm.

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  29.  Hah! I'm not sure Iceland agrees, though. I think they find their volcanoes majestic. And you'd have to agree, quite the Pomp, eh?

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  30. Uh, no sweetheart, like most Americans, I have only a vague and mostly inaccurate idea of geography.  Iceland/Norway/ it's all Greek to me!

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  31. Impossible. That dress is one of a kind!

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  32. For an ex-Mossad assasin Finnish blogger, your English is better than Hebrew and Finnish. Great posts.. 

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  33. Thank you, I'm glad you found something you liked!

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