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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Nicky, You Better Put Out

“You better put out,” is what I told Nicky when she asked me to participate in the madness that is 30 minus 2 Days of Writing. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine she would turn that little comment into a prompt. Mostly because I imagine a lot of non-repeatable things about Nicky in my wildest dreams, and a silly little writing prompt doesn’t even merit a stray appearance. Had I been inclined to think about it, though, I’m sure I would’ve seen it coming, but being as focused on awkward bananas as I was, it took me by surprise.

So here I am, trying to write about Nicky putting out for me without straying into R-rated territory.. And people, I’m not having much luck with it. So instead, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to tell you the story of how I fell in love with Nicky. I’ve told you this story before, but I think Nicky’s awesome enough that she deserves to hear it again.

It was a beautiful spring day. It could also have been fall, or winter, or even summer, I can’t really remember, but it’s not important to the story anyway, so just go with it.

It was a beautiful spring/fall/winter/summer day. Of course, since I can’t even remember what time of year it was, I can’t really say for sure that it was a beautiful day. It could very well have been raining small popular mammals or snowing or even just been overcast and dull. Finnish weather isn’t very predictable and I can’t be expected to remember what the weather was like that beautiful spring day. Anyway, let’s just get on with the story.

Small popular mammal.

It was a beautiful/rainy/overcast/gray/snowy spring/fall/winter/summer day. Come to think of it, it probably wasn’t even day, what with the time zones and all. It was probably in the middle of the night and I should have been in bed hours ago and I probably had to work the next day and I probably spent all day at work yawning like Mike’s faceless skull, and then I probably took a nap after work, which shifted my internal clock forward to make me more internet-adapted, but at the same time making me less work-adapted and less Finland-adapted, which eventually resulted in the permanent black circles I have under my eyes now as a result of living on four hours of sleep every night.

Back to the story.

It was a beautiful/rainy/overcast/gray/snowy spring/fall/winter/summer day/night/evening/morning. You know, it probably didn’t even happen in one day or night at all. Now that I think about it, it happened over time, slowly but surely, like the sun slowly growing and expanding until it eventually kills everything on this planet in a raging inferno of fire and brimstone, souls screaming in agony and babies crying for their mommy, but less gruesome and more sweet.

Okay, that doesn’t really work story-wise, either. I think it’s best if we just start over completely, don’t you think?

The first time she commented on my blog, I thought she was a man. She spelled her name weirdly, like a man, and she grabbed her balls a lot, too. Or so I thought, but as it turned out, she didn’t have any balls so I guess she mostly just grabbed her man’s balls. Or maybe she didn’t grab any balls at all and that’s something I made up just now. I really don’t know, I’m writing this at work and I think my brain is still asleep because I stayed up too late reading her blog again.

Magic 8-ball, shown here with small popular mammal.
Not relevant to the story.


I’m really not doing the story justice.

I love Nicky, okay?! And I have to tell you, she gives awesome Skype.



This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is You better put out. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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32 comments:

  1. Hey Ziva! Nicky has a charm it's hard to resist, it's true. I mean, look at us all, writing every day for a month; man, she's got some moves. By the way, I'm loving the small, popular mammals! Though that lad looks pretty big to me. Indigo x

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  2. You know I love you, right? I love you even though you write about me and include pictures of small popular mammals. It makes me oddly happy.

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  3. I live to make you oddly happy, my gorgeous Canadian.

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  4. She sure is amazing, I could never in a million years make a whole bunch of people get together and post something on a certain topic every day for an entire month.

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  5. Damn... maybe I'm going to have to check out that Skype thing after all. Some beautiful/rainy/overcast/gray/snowy/spring/fall/winter/summer/day.

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  6. You know, I live 2 hours away from Nicky and often am in Montreal. One of these days/nights/mornings/evenings/afternoons I've got to look her up...and down...and over...

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  7. Peggy Vork-ZamboryFebruary 5, 2013 at 3:20 PM

    What a lovely bit of writing!

    And we have Indigo to thank for pimping you out to his FaceBook crowd.


    Pearl

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  8. I am incredibly jealous now.

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  9. Bless him. :) Thank you so much for stopping by to say hi, Pearl, I'm glad you liked the post. :)

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  10. Let me know when you do, Boom Boom!

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  11. Ohh, that's a great idea. ;)

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  12. Well, now that was interesting. :)

    "She gives awesome Skype."


    Excellent.


    Nice work overall here, Ziva. I enjoyed it.

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  13. mikewjattoomanymorningsFebruary 5, 2013 at 7:40 PM

    Great post. I hope somebody options this story for a movie, too. I'd see it. Twice.

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  14. Hey, I'm glad you cleared up how you two met. ;) By the way, that is an adorable small popular mammal.

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  15. My cat did not like your small popular mammal photos but he has asked to go live with Nicky. You see, I told him it rains small unpopular rodents in Canada.

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  16. She wrote a comment on your blog!!! Now I am jealous. How on earth did you get her to do that, and more importantly did she make you promises on the first day?

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  17. Seeing Nicky "in the flesh" so to speak is an experience like no other I have ever had. While skyping with Nicky and Max is fun, it was even more fun playing dress up with her. Ziva, she is lucious! I love her too. She is my Princess Winter/Fall/Summer/Spring 24/7.

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  18. Oh Linda, I am so incredibly jealous that you two got to meet each other. I wish I lived closer. :)

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  19. I have no idea what I did, I think I just sort of flipped my hair a little and batted my eyelashes at her. You should try it!

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  20. Oh my, I think my small popular mammal might want to join Oreo kitty in Canada now.

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  21. Darth Vader (aka Pepsi), is just too cute. I still can't get over how adorable he is. :)

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  22. I think someone should make Dufus' post into a movie. I'd see it. Over and over again.

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  23. Thanks, P.J, I'm glad you liked it. ;)

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  24. The cat and the ball picture. CLASSIC!

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  25. Isn't it hilarious how the most random things become prompts?

    Isn't it??

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  26. I totally enjoyed every word of your story. I love the way you tell a story. Or don't tell a story. Or tell a story without telling the story. Whatever, It worked. You made me laugh and that is a tough task these days. You know what I love even more? I love that you and Nicky and driving these men crazy. Way to go!

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  27. Hah! Thanks, Malisa! Drivin men crazy is what Nicky and I do best. Skyping being a close second.. Anyway, I'm glad I could make you laugh, it sounds like you needed a laugh. :)

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  28. I just love a cat that knows how to play with balls.

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