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Sunday, February 3, 2013

And The Next Thing I Knew, I Was In a Mental Asylum

M-N-O-P, M-N-O-P, M-N-O-P, Nilsson, I before O, Nilsson before Nordström… O before P, no wait.. Yes, O before P. K-L-M, K-L, K-L, K-L, K-L......

There are no windows in this room. Six feet by ten feet of darkness and misery.

R-S-T-U... R-S-T...

A bare light bulb hangs in the ceiling and I can feel my sanity slowly draining from me as I shuffle the papers back and forth.

C-D-E-F, E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F...

I shake my head. If I don’t catch myself in time I’ll go into broken record mode and an hour will go by with me simply staring at the files, silently repeating the same two letters over and over again.

Someone laughs manically and the sound frightens me until I realize I’m the one laughing. All is good.

G-H-I-J, F-G-H, Gustafsson before Häggblom.

My skin feels like paper, and I briefly stop to stare at my hand. I wonder if all the filing has made me one with the archives. I wonder what kind of superhero that would make me. The Amazing Archive Girl  - ask me anything, I know everything. Yes, even that. Oh, or maybe The Paper Girl – because paper cuts hurt like a bitch. I could definitely see this being a hit on the big screen. I’ll be rich. Christopher Nolan, call me.

Nolan. Before Nordström, after Nilsson.

I’m standing in a pool of my own sanity. It’s green.  P-Q... Not a lot of surnames beginning with Q over here. Hell, we don’t even have a lot of words containing it. Silly little letter. We should take it out of the alphabet. Sell it to the French.

Å-Ä-Ö, Å-Ä-Ö... I love the cute little dots and circles. Try explaining them to an American, though. Impossible. Like... well, explaining something to an American.

K-L-M, K-L-M, K-L-M... Look at that, something's floating in my sanity. Ohh! It’s a raisin!

Lunch is served.


This post is part of Nicky and Mike’s 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing challenge. Today’s prompt is And the next thing I knew. Go check out We Work For Cheese for a list of the other participants. *
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30 comments:

  1. Poor Ziva. A couple of months of marriage and you're a mess. Oh, and I get the dots and circles. I'm Canadian, eh?

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  2. I, for one, don't think we use umlauts enough.

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  3. Evil Twin likes writing letters with eyebrows. I hope cheese was not served with your raisin.

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  4. Dots? Circles? Raisins? It's enough to put you in an insane asylum. Mind if I join you?

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  5. I love accents. Personally I'm a big fan of the circumflex.

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  6. Oh, I know that feeling! I used to help organize shelves at our library. Between Authors' names and The Dewey Decimal System, it was enough to make my head spin right off. Do you really work in an Archives? We have an amazing one with most of my family's history in it.

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  7. I've just caught up with your first 3 days and I've just got to tell you that you're an incredibly talented writer. I know these are supposed to be funny but they're so much more too. The cheesy post was such an eloquent piece of prose; I loved your rationale in the hold on post; and while the rhythm of this one is magical, it's the reality that this is exactly what being a little bit insane feels like and looks like to me.

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  8. I know, being married has ruined me. I used to be fun! And sane!

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  9. I wouldn't know, those aren't umlauts, they're separate letters, the little bits and bobs are just part of what the letter looks like, kinda like "i".

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  10. No cheese, just green sanity jello.

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  11. Please do, the more the merrier! I'll share my raisin with you.

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  12. It's actually just a two-week long project to clean up and organise the personnel files at the health care centre where I work. I thought it sounded like fun, but then I started doing it and now I'm talking to imaginary people.

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  13. I don't like raisins. I like you, though. You're pretty. And smart. And a little bit crazy. :-)

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  14. Damn, this made me smile. Tho if there's Johanssons and Karlsson's in there, I hope you have plenty of time and workspace. Indigo

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  15. Oh, thank you so much for the kind words, Cheryl! What a great compliment. :)

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  16. That's why you and I were meant to be together, we're the same kind of crazy.

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  17. I'm telling you, Indigo, those Johanssons and Karlssons nearly killed me.

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  18. Filing is never fun! Your eyes cross, the words blur, your fingers are sliced to ribbons. Yes, filing is the road to insanity.

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  19. Holy crap. I think I totally get you. And you might get me. Seriously. Why?


    Paper cuts do hurt like a bitch! For goodness sake do I hate those freakin' things. Paper cut haters unite!

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  20. mikewjattoomanymorningsFebruary 4, 2013 at 2:23 AM

    I agree. I've always agreed. Well, not always. I only started reading your blog about three years ago. But it feels like forever.

    Wait, that didn't sound right.

    Hell, I quit.

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  21. mikewjattoomanymorningsFebruary 4, 2013 at 2:25 AM

    Another brilliant, funny, tortured post, Ziva. You are my personal hero. Or is that HerÖ? I don't know, I'm American. Don't even bother trying to explain it to me.

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  22. That sounds like how my brain works EVERY DAY! This part here? C-D-E-F, E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F... E-F..." I saw COOOOFFFFEEEEEEEE!

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  23. This brings back memories of when I spent a good portion of my work days filing vendor folders. I was much less clever about it than you, of course.

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  24. I feel for you, man, it must've been hell.

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  25. Hah! Suddenly I feel a little sorry for your brain. ;)

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  26. I already tried to explain it to you once! And it didn't work..


    Oh, and it's "hjälte" ;)

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  27. Yes, exactly! I keep catching myself ever so slightly with the damn papers and my hands end up aching all over. Worst kind of torture.


    Well, apart from actual torture, of course.

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  28. Yep, and I've almost reached my destination!

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