You all know what this means, don’t you?
That’s right, party at my place! *
Monday, August 16, 2010
B.Y.O.B.
On Saturday morning M left for an utterly insignificant harmless little island in the middle of the Atlantic. The people inhabiting this strange little island speak in a funny manner, adore their queen and have a strangely close relationship with umbrellas. They call this island “Great Britain”. Rather silly name, if you ask me, seeing as the island isn’t very “great” at all, but rather small actually. Then again the people of Great Britain are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. Luckily M has a digital watch so he’ll fit right in. He’ll be there until next Sunday, getting his ass handed to him by karate masters.
You all know what this means, don’t you?
That’s right, party at my place! *
You all know what this means, don’t you?
That’s right, party at my place! *
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Hey, I'm there! Um, where exactly is your place?
ReplyDeleteThe Brits also purposely name objects to confuse Americans, like referring to a trunk of a car as a boot, a French Fry as a chip, and a truck as a lorry.
ReplyDeleteThink how confused we would be to read a headline like this: Lorry driver slams into trunk while holding chips in one hand. Who's this bitch Lori? Was someone wearing the boot when she hit it? And was she driving and betting at the same time?
nonamedufus: Oh that's right, I forgot. First, drive east until you hit water. Make sure it's the Atlantic ocean. Swim. When you get to Great Britain, ignore it best you can and swim north until you get to Denmark. Steal a car and drive to Sweden. Take a ferry from Stockholm to Turku and look for a yellow apartment building on a hill. Be careful, the Finnish are not sociable and WILL be rude if you talk to them. When you get to my building I'm on the second floor. See you here?
ReplyDeleteLauren: Exactly. And then they want you to take the lift to the flat. Silly Brits. They're just jealous because you Americans have all the good weather. Or it might be a plot to take over the world. You never know with the Brits.
Oh! Don't even get me started on Brits. There's the "Car Park" (excuse me?), there's the "Shirley, you don't mean... (My name ain't "Shirley", Bitch.)
ReplyDeleteWhat can I bring? Finlandia or Tequila? Just let me know!
I'm half British, you know, and I think we still refer to it as Great Britain because we still remember the days when we owned most of the civilized world and all of the uncivilized world. Good times.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for the invite, and put me down for the party. I can bring my famous Toad-in-the-Hole or Bubble & Squeak, if you'd like. Or, if you're feeling a little adventurous, I'll bring my famous Spotty Dick.
Linda: Tequila will be fine, we can do shots! With lots of salt and lime. Yum!
ReplyDeleteMikeWJ: Please, do elaborate on what exactly a Spotty Dick is. I Shirley hope it's some sort of drink or food and not just your.. appendage... because while I understand that you can't go anywhere without Little Mike, the spotty part doesn't sound good at all.
I would really have to suggest that Michael leave the Spotty Dick at home where it belongs.
ReplyDeleteI will bring the tequila and the limes from my garden. Oh, and my camera and video cam. Is Nicky coming?
Linda: I really hope Nicky is coming. We can't have a party without some cheese. I tried to comment on your blog again today, Linda, and I still can't. And I've had really good comments too!
ReplyDeleteBaby, what is going on? Are the superpowers trying to keep us apart? Does the blog open okay? Is it just the comments thing that won't work? Nicky will be there. I'll pick her up myself and bring her if I have to. In fact, I'd better get the dogs leased up behind the sled if we want to be on time.
ReplyDeleteLinda: The blog opens just fine. It's the comments thing that won't work. I write my comment, fill in all the required information and when I try to post, it just says that there was an error with my request. And today it won't let me comment on Nicky's post either. Sucky thing. I'll try creating an account tomorrow if it's not fixed by then.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Texas. I will bring BEER to the party.
ReplyDeleteForget the Brits. They pronounce words with extra r's on the end, Ziver.
Spotted dick is a steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit (usually currants) commonly served with custard. It's quite delicious, and not at all randy, as you and Linda quite inappropriately assumed.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of Linda, I can't access her blog at all. It just comes up with a photo, and nothing else. It's a little frustrating, because I like to leave an endless string of meaningless comments on her latest post, but now I don't have an outlet for my verbal diarrhea.
Ziva and Michael, I have indeed had spotted dick in my time and must say I enjoyed it. I also enjoy have Ryan a tech guy for Disqus trying to fix my stuff and hope that he can because you know I would miss your pearls of wisdom if I couldn't read them.
ReplyDeleteLinder
Ziva, the guy at Disqus says to uncheck the "subscribe to this thread by email" thing for now and they will have it fixed in a couple of days. The problem Michael, Roschelle, and Sam are having (nothing except the photo showing) he doesn't know.
ReplyDeleteM is gone and people are actually questioning whether or not I will be at the party?! Are you kidding me? I'm already there :-) MikeWJ, please take this the way it is intended: I'm very much looking forward to trying your Spotty Dick. Linda, darling, I'm having the same problem as Mike when I go to your site, I see picture but no text :-( Ziva, baby, come back to the sauna, it's kinda weird being in here alone with this life-size picture of me!
ReplyDeleteHow else would I take it, Nicky? You act like I'm a rude guy who twists people's words. That's not me, and thank you for your interest in tasting my Spotted Dick. It's sweet, and creamy.
ReplyDeleteP.S. -- I can't wrap my head around the image of you in the sauna with the giant picture of yourself. It's like watching "Inception" all over again.
I wish that I could come to your party as long as it didn't include the sauna. I hate being hot. LOL! I miss you babe!
ReplyDelete-Jenn
Reffie: I've never understood what purpose that extra r at the end of a word had. Then I realized it was all just a plot to take over the world. Damn Brits and their need for world domination. They're even brown-nosing the USA to make sure they're in with the cool people when Africa needs to be divvied up between the superpowers again.
ReplyDeleteMikeWJ: Pudding. That wasn't nearly as exciting as I was hoping.
Linda: I'll be sure to visit your blog again and see if unchecking that box helps.
Nicky: I'll be right there, love. I'm just getting us some Spotted Dick to enjoy.
Jenn: I miss you too babe! I'm so happy you came by. And please, come to my party anyway, we're all done with the sauna anyway.
Hey! Great party. I think I just spotted Dick!
ReplyDeleteZiva: I know it's boring. I'm boring. Everything is boring. I have never been this bored in my entire life. I could die and not even notice that I was dead, that's how bored I am. I'm too bored to think about how bored I am, but I wish I wasn't bored.
ReplyDeleteSigh.
MikeWJ: Man, you're bored. I'm not bored at all. Probably because I'm not boring. I'm not saying that you are, or anything, I'm just saying that I'm not.
ReplyDeletenonamedufus: A word of advice, don't let Dick see you. Those spots just won't go away.
ReplyDeleteFuck off, non-bored bitch.
ReplyDeleteMikeWJ: What was that you were saying? I can't hear you through the boredom radiating from you.
ReplyDeleteZiva, what is that potty mouthed cry baby babbling on about now? He's bored? My God his whiny ways are getting on my last nerve. That and all the boring complaining.
ReplyDeleteOh MikeWJ, stop complaining and c'mon into the sauna already! And bring your Spotty Dick with you :-)
ReplyDeleteWell it looks like I missed the party...aka The Comment Party On Your Blog!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm still trying to figure out this Spotted Dick business. What the hell kind of party is this?
By the way, I'm also part British, which I think cancels out the Russian part. See, I told you that there was nothing to worry about.
Linda: He's just mad because I gave him a Rubik's Cube to play with and he couldn't solve it.
ReplyDeleteNicky: Be careful what you ask for.. You just never know how Spotted Dick might react to the heat in a sauna.
mike: You're half British as well?? So let me get this straight, 1/8 of you wants to take over the world, make everyone communists, give all the money to the state and then conviniently forget to give it back to the people. 4/8 of you wants to take over the world, drink your tea with lemon and own and exploit every other country in the world. And the last 3/8 of you wants to just sit up there in Canada and watch hockey all day while the rest of you takes over the world. Yes, that does make me feel better.
I never said half British, only part British. I think it's 1/8.
ReplyDeleteThere was also a Lithuanian in there somewhere and a Hungarian too. Yeah, the Huns were pretty bad, I admit, what with Atilla the Hungarian and all.
But don't worry about any of that. The 3/8 Canadians will apologize for anything those other guys do.
P.S. way way back, we may have been Swedish.
mike: You may have been Swedish? The Swedes owned Finland for 600 years! Even Russia is better than that. I'm just going to forget you said anything and keep thinking you're nothing but Canadian. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt was a really long time ago and no one really knows for sure anyway. Still, I shop at Ikea on the rare occasion.
ReplyDelete