Ziva found herself helplessly in love with the gorgeous Canadian blogger-come-leader-of-the-world, the one and only Nicky. Desperate for her affection, Ziva set out on a mission. A mission to woo Nicky. She managed to trick the beautiful Nicky to Skype with her, and after a rocky start, a little help from the awkward banana and a French-speaking child, Nicky and Ziva hit it off like no one ever thought a cheese-lover and an ex-assassin could. And then Ziva fell off the face of the earth, presumably lost in Tijuana.
In this week’s episode, Ziva magically resurfaces, broke and hung over, but seemingly no worse for wear, and she is on a mission. Again. This time, it is not to woo Nicky, (although Ziva would like to point out that she will win Nicky’s heart again, even if she has to eat cheese to do it,) but to tackle the greatest problem known to womenkind; men’s inability to do it right.
This is probably one of the most common conversations M and Ziva have:
Z: ”No, it doesn’t go there!”
M: “Where then?”
Z: “A little to the right. More. More. There!”
M: “What about this?”
Z: “No, that’s not right, put it in the back.”
We’re of course talking about the dishwasher. Men can’t seem to get it right. But, nice as Ziva is, she tries not to be a nagging bitch, so whenever M puts the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, she just secretly sneaks in after he’s left the kitchen and rearranges the dishes. Yes, she’s that pedantic.
And now that she wrote it down, she's realizing it's not even a very interesting topic to discuss. At all. Ziva is very sorry she wasted your time. It’s back to Tijuana for her.
Ziva would also like to apologize for talking about herself in the third-person singular throughout this thoroughly useless post. *
I was just in Tijuana myself. You're not like really super-good friends with a donkey, are you?
ReplyDeleteNope. No way. Never. And any video evidence to the contrary is falsified!
ReplyDeleteAt least M will put dishes in the dishwasher. When we got ours, I had never used one in my life, whereas The Husband grew up with one. And part of his chores at home involved filling and emptying the thing. As soon as the appliance showed up in OUR house, he forgot everything he ever knew about dishwashers and hasn't put a dish in ours since. Typical man. ;)
ReplyDelete(Good to see you back--and don't stay so long in Tijuana next time!)
Ziva, do you have OCD? I recognize the signs. Our dishwasher's broken and it has fallen to me to do the dishes. First the silverware, aligned on the left of the dish towel. Then the plates, leaning against the backsplash. Followed by glasses, aligned according to size, down the right. And finally the pots and pans, placed in the middle. And my wife? She can't wait to get it. A new dishwasher, that is.
ReplyDeleteHubby can help with the unloading but I'll do my own loading!
ReplyDeleteBe careful in Mexico. It's not safe, even for former assassins.
After Skyping with you, my heart is yours Lemmikki. I will never Skype another the way I Skyped with you. I'm glad you made it home safely from Tijuana. Please don't go back. The donkey is still traumatized and the country needs to replenish its depleted Tequila reserves.
ReplyDeleteMy home came with the dishwasher already installed. I figure if my dishwasher ever breaks, I will just sell my condo and buy another one.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I'm very lucky to have M, he almost always help with any chores in the apartment. I of course almost always have to re-do the chores after he's done, but it's the thought that counts.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, your OCD is definitely worse than mine. I mean, it's not like I'd go completely crazy if someone were to put one of the smaller plates in the back where the big plates go. I totally wouldn't. And I definitely wouldn't lie awake all night, thinking about the plate in the wrong place in the dishwasher and I definitely wouldn't get up in the middle of the night and fix it so I could finally sleep.
ReplyDeleteTijuana is in Mexico??
ReplyDeleteThe donkey loved it and you know it.
ReplyDeleteAwesome, I like a man with a good strategy.
ReplyDeleteIt's the marriage certificate I'd be worried about.
ReplyDeleteZiva, nothing could be considered "useless" if it involves you. I sort of like the third-person singular thing myself. It's kind of hot. Tijuana is rather dangerous though. Maybe you'd be better off with a little trip to Bangkok.
ReplyDeleteI used to be dishlexic but I grew out of it. I also rearrange the dishes in the dishwasher. In addition to being dishlexic, my husband never washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, though there seems to be a problem with that premise.
ReplyDeleteYou and Nicky Skyped? I'm so jealous.
ReplyDeleteI MUST defend The Husband: He ALWAYS puts his dirty dishes in the sink when he's done. He is very good about stuff like that, but the dishwasher... (And I completely understand about having to re-do things. ;))
ReplyDeleteMeleah loves when people speak in the 3rd person, because it's hilarious. Meleah also wants Ziva to know that it's perfectly normal to rearrange the dishwasher properly after M leaves the kitchen, because Meleah's mom does that all the time.
ReplyDeleteZiva loves Meleah for loving when Ziva speaks in the 3rd person. Ziva thinks Meleah is awesome.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. And it was gooood...
ReplyDeleteA trip to Bangkok? Ohh my..
ReplyDeleteOh, I knew there was a name for what M had. Dishlexia, I should have known. Maybe he'd snap out of it if I broke a plate or two over his head.
ReplyDeleteMeleah thinks Ziva is even more awesome, for replying in the 3rd person.
ReplyDelete