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Friday, February 4, 2011

And You Know What's Funny? I Hate Disqus.

Last night at about 9:45 pm, M and I looked at each other in surprise, and I asked M, ”is that thunder I hear?”

Normally thunder wouldn’t be such a foreign concept so that I would look and sound surprised to hear thunder, but last night, like the past 60 or so nights, winter had us in her cold grasp. And as it so happens, thunder and winter don’t match. So when I heard what I thought was thunder, I was indeed very surprised.

M didn’t have time to answer my question, because suddenly we heard what can only be described as an explosion, and our entire 7-story apartment building shook and vibrated for a second.

“We’re going to die!” I thought.

“Huh.” Thought M.

“The building is going to collapse and I’ll never get to have kids and fish and a huge wedding that sucks all the life and money out of us!” I thought.

“That was weird.” Thought M.

“Holy shit, oh my god, oh my god!!” I thought.

“Very weird indeed.” Thought M.

“What the fuck was that??” I asked M.

“I have no idea.” Answered M.

“It sounded like an explosion!” I said.

“Or as if someone dropped something heavy.” Offered M.

“And created thunder and shook the entire building??” I countered.

“Perhaps it was very heavy?” Pondered M.

“Idiot.” I lovingly exclaimed.

Then, not three hours later, at 12:30 am, we once again heard a great big bang and felt the entire building shake and vibrate.

“We’re going to die!” I thought.

“Huh.” Thought M.

“The building is going to collapse and I’ll never get to have kids and fish and a huge wedding that sucks all the life and money out of us!” I thought.

“That was weird.” Thought M.

“Holy shit, oh my god, oh my god!!” I thought.

“Very weird indeed.” Thought M.

“What the fuck was that??” I asked M, “AGAIN!!”

“I have no idea.” Answered M.

“That’s not normal.” I wisely deducted.

“No.” Agreed M.

“I’m calling the cops.” I stated.

“That might be wise.” Surmised M.

And so I did. Two fine policemen came over and found our story very strange indeed. Almost puzzling, you could say. However, seeing no evidence of any sorts of explosions, they left again, but promised to be on the lookout for any and all unauthorized explosions in and around our apartment building.

Back in the apartment I tried to tell myself that apartment buildings don’t come crashing down just because they’ve shook around a little. I failed miserably. Why, oh why, do I have to have such solid arguments? I tried telling myself that there wasn’t a crazy person roaming around, trying to take down the building. Instead, I tried telling myself that there had been an earthquake. In the most seismically uneventful region of the world. I did a fairly good job of convincing myself it had been an earthquake, right up until the moment I checked all seismic watch sites I could possibly find, only to see that there hadn’t been an earthquake in Turku in 700 years.

At 2 am M finally decided nothing more was going to happen and went to bed. I also went to bed. And got up again an hour later to check that the rest of the neighborhood was still in one piece. It was. But I simply couldn’t sleep. By 5 am my heart rate had finally come down to triple digits again, and I entertained the notion of a couple hours of sleep, but at that precise moment a third explosion occurred. It wasn’t as big, but I could definitely feel it. I would definitely not be getting any sleep, since I clearly was the only thing holding this building together.

And that, my dear friends, is the story of how Disqus has suddenly appeared as the new commenting tool on this here blog. It’s incredible the things you have time to do when you don’t sleep. *
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32 comments:

  1. Um, thunder and explosions? It must have been the aliens. They have obviously missed their target once again. They were supposed to land here since nobody is out and about because of the snow and ice.

    I'm glad you held things together. M appears to be useless. :)

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  2. It's great you don't waste your time...
    Disqus rocks!

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  3. I agree with ReformingGeek. Not about the aliens, 'cause we all know they live at my house but about M "appearing" to be useless.

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  4. Wow. That's very strange. 2 large explosions, 1 small explosion, no aliens, no earthquakes...and the cops didn't find anything. That is very strange indeed. But the thing I'm most curious about is - did anybody else in your building install Disqus?

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  5. Has Evin Twin been to Finland lately?

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  6. Must be a snow tsunami or worse you're being haunted by Boreas the Greek god of the cold north wind and the bringer of winter. I wish he would leave with the lambs or the lamb shanks which is probably more accurate.

    Disqus makes commenting fun! How lame was that?

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  7. Totally lame.

    But I wouldn't mind being haunted by a Greek god. I mean, how cool wouldn't that be? Of course, being hunted by the Greek guy of summer and sunshine would be even more awesome, but winter and cold will just have to do.

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  8. Now here is where it gets really strange: no one else istalled Disqus! Crazy!!

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  9. Oh no, I never waste time. Especially not watching countless episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" and "The Office," playing silly online games with farting fish, researching black fish and avoiding resposibility.

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  10. Aliens! Why didn't I think of that? Oh well, M would have been just as useless had it been aliens. Which it probably was, because I still haven't got an explanation for The Mystery of the Big Bang and Subsequent Shaking and Vibrating Apartment Building, TMBBSSVAB, for short.

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  11. I like this Disqus thing. Now we can all agree with each other in the same thread! Yes, M is useless!

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  12. Ziva, I will always give my most supreme respect to M as he is the future impregnator of the Goddess. That said, WTF was the noise? We have earthquakes, but I've never heard of one in Finland. Maybe a sonic boom?

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  13. The future impregnator of the Goddess. I'm going to start calling M that instead of sweetie. So much better!

    The noise really scared me, but we haven't heard it since, and the building is still standing. I can only assume we're probably going to be fine. Maybe.

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  14. farting fish - uuups, ugh, what's that?

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  15. The farting fish game is insanely addictive and will drive you absolutely insane trying to win all the levels. I'm doing you a huge favor by not giving you the address.

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  16. Ah yes - the things we CAN accomplish when we're too scared to sleep!

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  17. Holy shit! As much as I hate disqus (for the way it behaves in the background), I think it's a fine addition to your blog.

    It also totally makes replying to and ignoring comments easier.

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  18. Amazing, isn't it? It's too bad I'm not too scared to sleep more often. Not that I don't like sleeping, I totally do, but the windows are in dire need of washing.

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  19. Being able to easily ignore comments will make my life so much better.

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  20. mikewjattoomanymorningsFebruary 7, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    If it's been 700 years since an earthquake hit Turku, then I'd say you're about due for something really big. Anyway, I don't know how I feel about Disqus. It seems the same as any other comment box, basically. Everything seems the same to me. Sameness is pervasive. Are you pregnant yet?

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  21. I didn't think it was possible to get pregnant until after you're married?

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  22. An explosion of brilliance! That's what it must have been! Kudos for jumping on the Disqus bandwagon... makes for lively "conversations!"

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  23. Well obviously, why didn't I think of that!? Your house probably shook and vibrated when you thought of that, didn't it?

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  24. So this is where everyone is. Hi, Ziva! Glad to see you've got Disqus, even if it did damn near knock down your building. And I completely share your assessment of the Super Bowel. Oops.

    Even the half-time sucked this year, which is really all I watch it for -- that and the commercials.

    I think I'll just mosey around now and make myself at home. Got any beer?

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  25. Jayne, thanks for stopping by! Sadly, I don't have any beer, but I do have plenty of wine and even more vodka. Please make yourself at home.

    Super Bowel, hehe.. That's what I'm going to start calling it.

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  26. Be careful. If you tell me where you keep your liquor, I'll never leave. And then I'll expect snacks, too.

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  27. I'm trying to see if I've been blacklisted on another site.

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  28. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a fantastic comment. You're an inspiration to us all.

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  29. Alright,I read.Entertaining but confusing.Personally I like disqus.Just having problems on my regular news sight.

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  30. Entertaining but confusing, now that's a good comment. ;)

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  31. Maybe the next time you hear unexplainable explosions you'll break out the
    Windex!

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