Monday, December 6, 2010

Volkswagen Vento or Snowball - You Decide

Today is our independence day. The year was 1917 when Finland, tired of always belonging to other countries, declared its independence from the Russian empire, defeated the Death Star and showed the world who’s their daddy. I’m celebrating by watching The Unknown Soldier, a 7-hour black and white movie about the war. It’s shown every year and it only gets longer. Every Finn is supposed to have seen it, but I don’t know - I think many of us simply fall asleep when we try to watch the whole thing. And after The Unknown Soldier is over, I’ll watch the Presidential Ball, to which I wasn’t invited this year either. One day I’ll be there, dancing with the stars. Or in prison, no one knows.

In other news, I lent my car to Muschu. This is what happened.

She only had it one day! How is this even possible? We didn’t get that much snow that night. We won’t get it out of there without a shovel, and I don’t own a shovel. Our plan B is to wait for spring. It shouldn’t be too many years. *


  1. We just got our first snow of the year, but I don't need my shovel for it so I can lend it to you if you come and get it. :)

  2. Casey: Aww, thanks, that's really sweet of you, but somehow I think it would be easier to just wait for spring than to hike all the way to North Carolina to get it. Not that it wouldn't be fun to see what snow looks like in NC..

  3. Hello,

    my name is "Loan-me-your-car-and-I-will-make-you-a-snowball-out-of-it"
    I just touch them and *poof* SNOWBALL!!

  4. Loan-me-your-car-and-I-will-make-you-a-snowball-out-of-it: Where the hell were you during the great snowball war of 2007? I could have totally used you then.

  5. Muschu: Damn you and the rest of Team Jacob. Bella belongs with Edward!

  6. I am not so sure I would loan my car to Muschu. I would be afraid that she might take it to the beach and getting sand out and off the car could be problematic. But she could always make it up to me by sewing me a "Dancing with the Stars" dress!

    Bella does belong with Edward. I've always lusted after men who sparkle in the sun.

  7. Ack... That looks familiar. I think the option of waiting for spring sounds the most logical - after all, you can't drive with it during winter anyway. At least if Finnish drivers are like Norwegian ones - they immediately turn into idiots at snowfall. You'd think they'd learn eventually that they must be prepared for icy roads, since winter will come, every year, but apparently not.

  8. Jingle: I'll try, I can't make any promises, though. ;)

    Linda: You better not loan your car to Muschu, that's what sisters are for. I love her, so I don't mind having to dig it out from under the snow. If you're lucky she might still sew you a "Dancing with the Stars" dress, though. You'll just have to ask her really nicely, and probably pay her a small fortune too.

    Cruella: Not driving during the winter is really not an option, I would never get anywhere. Luckily Finnish drivers are pretty good with the whole snow thing, and the accident rate only goes up 900% during the winter.

  9. Would Muschu like to borrow my car? 'Cause I could totally loan her my car. She could come and get it while your watching The Unknown Soldier.

  10. ,,,or even while YOU'RE watching...

  11. Noname....are you trying to get rid of your car? Because if you are, it will totally work.

  12. I would like to watch "The Unknown Soldier," but I have some questions about it.

    1) Would I need a translator, or is it available with English captions?

    2)Does Telly Savalas play a hard-nosed tank commander who leads a crew of rogue soldiers deep into Nazi territory to blow up their fuel depot and win the Battle of the Bulge?

    3) Do you have popcorn and Coca-Cola in Finland? I like to eat popcorn and drink Coke when I watch movies.

    4) If I park my car outside the theater, or "theatre" for all your egghead readers, will I be able to find it at the end of the day, or will Muschu bury it under a thick blanket of snow, forcing me to live in the movie house eating popcorn and drinking Coca-Cola until spring arrives sometimes in 2014?

    5) Why does your president let you watch him ball? Is he terribly sad like most Finlandians because of the tragically cold weather and the constant fear of being invaded by Russia?

    6) Is the admission for "The Unknown Soldier" the same as regular movie admission, or triple the amount because the movie's really long and filmed in black and white?

    7) Why does a loving God allow pain and suffering in an unjust world?

  13. MikeWJ: I'm happy you want to watch the Unknown Soldier, and I shall gladly answer any and all questions you might have.

    1) I’m sure some poor soul has translated it already and provided you with subtitles in Simple English.

    2) No.

    3) Yes. But in many movie theaters they will only have Pepsi, so if you want Coca-Cola you’ll have to bring your own. It’s widely sold on street corners around the country.

    4) You might be able to find it, but just in case Muschu feels like hiding it, be sure to mount a very tall rod on the roof so you can find the right pile of snow and extract your car from it.

    5) Our President is a she and she likes to dance. That’s why she invites 1800 people to her castle on Independence Day for the party of the year. She rarely cries.

    6) You won’t be able to see it in a movie theater. They don’t show movies from 1955. You’ll have to find someone with a TV or a computer. They might also have Coca-Cola for you if you ask nicely.

    7) A loving God will allow for true free will, and true free will cannot exist without the possibility of evil, pain and suffering.

  14. Trying to get rid of my car? No way. I'm trying to get to know Muschu!

  15. Noname: Ahhh, that makes more sense. Well, she IS blonde and pretty and single. Good luck!

  16. Happy Independence Day! But, really, what were they thinking to declare independence in the bloody winter??

    Hmmm ... do ya think they named it, "The Unknown Soldier" because it was so long that, in the end, everyone had fallen asleep and the 'hero' only makes a brief cameo at the end and only wake up as the credit are rolling?

  17. 00dozo: It's winter all year round over here, they really didn't have that much of a choice, did they? And I have no idea why it's called "The Unknown Soldier", but I think the hero dies in the end. Or in the beginning. Or not at all, I really haven't paid that much attention to the plot.

  18. No fair. MikeWJ asked everything I was going to ask. Bummer. Now I got nothing.

    You're pretty. I like you.

  19. I guess you never got that snow mobile you were waiting for. We had a covering of snow today. However, unlike blankets these coverings are cold.

  20. Three additional questions:

    1) Why did the Fins elect a woman president, especially one who dances and rarely cries? Doesn't she care about her country or other people's feelings?

    2) Why do we need free will? Angels don't have free will, and they seem perfectly happy what with their golden wings and their constant singing and their harps and all. Russians don't have free will, and they're perfectly happy as long as they have vodka, potatoes and other countries to occupy. If God wants us to be happy, then why give us free will when He knows full well the inevitable result is that we'll park our sister's car in a snow drift, plunging her into abject misery?

    3) Why didn't the Fins give Telly Savalas a role in their most important film? Do the Fins hate Telly Savalas?

  21. @ Nicky

    Thank you, Nicky. I also find you very attractive.

  22. I had something to say, and then I read your comment about mounting a tall rod and I lost my whole train of thought.

  23. @ Murr

    I was trying to ignore that comment on the grounds that I can't always be the dirty one here. But it sure as hell sounded dirty, didn't it? It stood out, as it were. Ziva's a very naughty girl.

  24. nonamedufus: It is very kind of you to let me borrow your car. I am a scorpio in the zodiac sign and due to that I have my ways with water (not sand). You want it to be snow - I make snow. You want it to swim with the fishes - I make it swim with the fishes....

  25. Nicky: You're in luck: If you tell me I'm pretty you're not required to comment on the actual post. You're pretty, too. I like you.

    Lauren: No, the snowmobile got stuck in customs. Apparently someone used it to try and smuggle in endangered squirrels. I'm just as shocked as you are.

    MikeWJ: 1) We're progressive like that.

    2) We need free will to not become like Russia.

    3) We didn't think Telly Savalas knew Finnish, which is kind of important when starring in a Finnish film.

    Also? Nicky meant me, not you. You're a skinny skeleton, I'm the pretty one here.

    Murr: Hehe, I guess there's just something about mounting a tall rod that gets you thinking...

    Rena: You should slap her around a little. I'm sure Mike would pay top dollar to see that. We would be rich!

  26. @ Rena - You're pretty too. I like you. I'm sorry I stole your catchphrase. It's just that it's a really good catchphrase. Can we be friends? You can come over to my house for a sleep over and we can have pillow fights in our underwear.

  27. Nicky and Ziva and Rena, you are all very pretty and I like you all very much. And I love underwear pillow fights too.

  28. Get a torch.

    For the car.

    I mean for the snow!

    Yeah, the snow....on the car.

    Be careful!

  29. Linda: Oh, I wasn't going to participate, I was just going to make money off of Rena and Nicky.

    Reffie: That's not a bad idea... For the snow, of course. I would never set fire to my own car. Nope. Never. Even if it was lost under a huge pile of snow.

  30. Ziva, I'm going to do the filming! We can make a fortune off of those two pillowfighting in their skivvies. I'll bring the lava lamp.

  31. I'm fairly certain Nicky meant I'm pretty, because I am.

    Also, I'm having a hard time imagining Rena and Nicky having a pillow fight in their skivvies, letting alone paying to watch it.

    *No, I'm not.*

    *Yes, I am. You can't let women control you like that. Be strong. Be a man. Actually, be a woman, because they're better at being stronger when it comes to resisting pillow fights.*

    *I think. Maybe women have pillow fights in their skivvies all the time, but never tell us about it.*

    *Think about something else. Think about "The Unknown Solider" and the frozen snow and ice of Finland. Okay, that's better. In control now. Control is good. Ice. Snow.*

  32. One more question:

    1) So if free will is good, a gift from God as it were, then when Russia chooses to exercise it's free will by invading Finland, it's acting in the way God intended, just as Finland is behaving as God intended by resisting the Russian invasion?

  33. Wait, who am I bitchslapping? Nicky? Or Mike? And are we doing this in the feathers, or in the snow? My head hurts.

  34. I think you're bitchslapping Nicky in the feathers while I throw $100 bills at the two of you and Ziva films the whole thing for her new company, Snowballs, Inc., and Murr watches from atop her tall rod.

  35. MikeWJ and Lorena, nobody is bitchslapping me! Rena, you and I are going to pillow fight in our skivvies and feathers will fly and Ziva will be the director/producer and Linda will be the camera person and Murr will watch from atop her tall rod and Mike will throw $100 bills at us (lots of them!). See, no bitchslapping. Because we're pretty and we like each other.

  36. I knew I could count on Nicky to get the whole thing right and in perspective.

  37. Oh My Goodness! Now THAT is a lot of snow! Wow and Yikes.

  38. PS: I just laughed my way reading through these comments! There's bitch slapping, pillow fighting, and pretty people who like each other.

  39. @ Meleah

    I'm sure you could join the pillow fight, Meleah. Or, if you're too shy, you could edit the video. You've already demonstrated your mad skills in that area.

  40. Everyone participating in/filming/thinking of the pillow fight: Awesome job figuring it all out, we're going to be rich!

    MikeWJ: 1) Yes, because God intended everyone to exercise their free will, and in Russia free will just happens to be a collective need for more land. Because half of Europe and half of Asia isn't enough when they have so much snow they need to place somewhere.

    Meleah: There's more snow now. But we dug the car out from under it the other day, so it's safe in the garage now.

  41. @Mike: I really do love movie editing! Thanks for recognizing my 'mad skills'!

    Good call!

  42. But how can something that's from God and meant to be good result in something evil, like being invaded by Russia, or eating canned Spam?

  43. Wow, I guess I should be grateful for the measly one inch of snow over here! Doesn't mean I'm not doing a crazy Spring dance anyway (-:

  44. Muschu: I'm a Taurus and I come here often. I don't know much about that water stuff other than there's lots of it between us so I don't know about the practicality of loaning you my car. Ah,well, it's the thought that counts.

  45. Apparently a few comments got held up in moderator-hell, clearly whoever is managing this blog isn't very good at it.

    MikeWJ: It's all because of the penguins.

    Mrsblogalot: Can you show me the crazy Spring dance? I could definitely use it!



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