M: You’re the cutest girlfriend ever.
Z: No I’m not.
M: Yes you are.
Z: But Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson are also somebody’s girlfriends, and they are definitely cuter than I am.
Z: I love you.
M: I love you more.
Z: I love you most.
M: No, I love you most.
Z: But I heart you.
M: Well I heart you too.
Z: I less than three you.
M: I less than three you more.
Z: I less than three you most.
M: But I less than three you even more.
Z: You can’t do that; I already said I love you most.
M: Well in that case I love you almost, but not quite as much as you do. I love you the same amount, minus epsilon*.
Z: So basically, if my love for you were n, your love for me would be n - ε.
Z: You’re so romantic.
*In mathematics (particularly calculus), an arbitrarily small positive quantity is commonly denoted ε. *