Oink

It’s been a while since I visited my spam folder. This is mostly due to the fact that my Russian mail order bride still hasn’t contacted me – a fact that makes me both frustrated and a little depressed. Today, though, when I checked my spam folder for notes from Anna, I noticed a couple of pretty creative, and somewhat disturbing, subject lines.

“With some extra inches you will open some extra possibilities for yourself.”

Now this is so true! I’m only 5’1 and I can barely even reach the wheel when I drive a car. With some extra inches I would be able to do a ton of stuff that I can only dream about now. For instance, I could reach the top shelf in the kitchen without using a ladder. I could see over the wheel when I drive Steve. I could go to the movies and not have to sit on a pillow. My life would be so much improved if I had a few extra inches. I think I’m going to give it a go.

I also saw this subject line:

“Nothing excites women more than a big bulge in your penis.”

Actually, guys, I can guarantee that there is nothing in the entire world that excites women less than a big bulge in your penis. If you have a big bulge in, on, or anywhere around your penis you’re probably better off seeing a doctor. Yuck.

My arm is killing me today. I’ve been vaccinating people for the swine flu all day and ended the day by letting the nurse stick a needle in me. I think it’s kind of disturbing that I let her inject me with trace amounts of the Spanish flu, but if it keeps me from oinking like a pig, I’m all for it.

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Oink