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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Famous Last Words

When I was little, I once ate a worm just to see if it would crawl back up my throat after I swallowed it. It didn’t. Since then I’ve become many a few years older and have learned a few more things about swallowing. It won’t make you pregnant for example. It will, however, make you fat – in the non-pregnant way. Let me introduce myself, I’m Ziva and I’ll be sharing my incredible wisdom in this blog. I’m saving the rest of my extensive knowledge about swallowing for a later post – be sure to check back in for that tasty morsel of “I really didn’t need to know that.”

I’m fairly new to this blogging business, but hopefully I’m doing it right. Nothing major has exploded as of yet, so I can only assume I’m on the right track. Usually I can tell when things go wrong. When things go wrong in my life they do it with style. I’m talking catastrophic failure here. My laptop didn’t simply die – the screen fell off. My bike didn’t just break – pieces were sawed off of it. My car didn’t just stop working – the brakes became completely useless in the middle of a roundabout. I don’t know what could possibly go wrong with a simple blog, but I’m sure those could very well be my famous last words. Although, I’d kind of want them to be about something a little bit more exciting… Like “I’m sure this isn’t one of those man-eating sharks.” or “Do you think we could jump that 20-foot gap in the bridge with my car?” or “Does this volcano look like it’s about to erupt to you?” Those would be awesome last words.

What about you? What would be your famous last words? *
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5 comments:

  1. You must always be very wary of swallowing lest it comes out of your nose, and sometimes if you're really unfortunate, out of your eyes.

    Words of wisdom- always be in control of your own mouth.

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  2. I have to say I have never had anything come out of my eyes when I tried to swallow, but I can only assume it reaches an entirely new level of yuck. :P

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  3. Facebook says my famous last words will be "you can totally drink from this!"

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  4. Well, if Facebook says so, it must be true. My expert advice, stay away from bottles with a skull on them.

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  5. Muschu (formerly known as Anonymous)September 1, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    But they just look soooo tasty!!

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